Chapter 1
Tess paced the floor of the beach house, waiting impatiently for Andrew to get back. She had been able to get some information from the Father while Andrew had been gone, but very little. What she did know was that Monica was in trouble and that Andrew had been sent to get her just in time. The Father had told her to meet Andrew here and that they would have a long road ahead of them. Tess had no idea what the latter of those statements meant, but she was nearly frantic with worry.
Monica and Andrew had always been her “babies” and even though last night, she had been furious with both of them, that was now all in the past. All that mattered to her now was their safety. When Monica had seemingly vanished from that college campus last night, Tess had nearly worried herself sick over what could have happened to her. She felt calmer now, knowing Andrew, though unbeknownst to him at the time, had gone to bring her back. The one thing Tess didn’t know was what her little angel baby had been through.
She gazed out the window of the sliding glass doors and watched as the angry waves crashed upon the rocks. This storm had seemingly brewed up out of nowhere and it showed no signs of stopping anytime soon. Tess glanced up towards the heavens and suddenly had a very bad feeling about all of this.
“Tess!”
She whirled around having heard Andrew’s cry. The anguish in his voice should have prepared her for what she was about to see, but it did not. Andrew’s eyes were red from tears that he struggled to hold back even now, and lying limply in his arms was Monica. There was no sign of life about her, but Tess knew instantly that she was still alive, though barely. Her hands flew to her mouth for a moment, stifling a scream, before she regained control again. She approached them quickly, her heart nearly breaking at the sight of the Irish tongued angel
“Andrew, what happened to her?” She managed to say, her voice scarcely a whisper.
“I don’t know, Tess…I don’t know. This is how I found her…” Tears formed in his eyes as he looked at Tess with a look of absolute terror in his green eyes.
Tess laid a hand on Monica’s cheek, which appeared to be nearly black with what looked like smoke,
“Baby, she’s burning up with fever. Let’s get her back to her bedroom and warmed up.”
Tess led the way back the hall and indicated for Andrew to lay Monica down on the bed,
“Angel Boy, do me a favor and go get the basin from the kitchen. Fill it with ice-cold water and grab a cloth. I’m going to get her out of these wet clothes.”
Silently, Andrew left the room and hurried to the kitchen. He found the basin Tess was referring to and put it in the sink, turning on the tap. He opened the freezer while the water was filling and grabbed two handfuls of ice and threw them into the basin. He then began opening drawers, searching for a cloth. He opened drawer after drawer to no avail and when he reached the last one, he slammed it closed. He then clutched the edge of the counter as sobs began to rack through his body; huge anguished sobs that shook through him. He couldn’t bear the thought of anything having happened or happening to Monica. The shock of finding her like he had was still so fresh in his mind and the not knowing what she had been through to be able to help her was tearing him up inside.
Tess came up behind him softly and laid a hand on his shoulder,
“Baby, I need that water,” She watched as he nodded his head, trying to get control over his emotions once more. She opened the cupboard and removed a washcloth before picking up the basin and setting it on the counter for a moment. She then turned her attention back to Andrew,
“Angel Boy, I know this is hard, but I need for you to be strong for little while yet. That angel baby in there needs that too. Now, I don’t what happened to her, or what is going to happen, but I do know she needs you by her side to get through it.” She smiled gently at him as he raised his tear-filled eyes to meet hers and nodded his head.
“I’ll be there in a minute,” He whispered, before running his hand over his face to wipe away the tears.
Tess reached up and stroked his cheek before taking the basin and heading back to Monica. She had gotten her out of her soaking clothes and put a warm nightgown on her. She now took the cloth in a dual effort to clean her face and hopefully lower the fever that was raging through her body. Tess’ gentle hand wiped the dirt from her face to reveal how deathly pale Monica’s face really was,
“Oh baby, what happened out there?” Tess whispered, watching as her charge shivered in her sleep. Tess grabbed another blanket from the foot of the bed to cover her with, but the shivering didn’t stop.
Andrew walked into the room quietly, his eyes pained as he watched his friend trembling uncontrollably. He grabbed another quilt from the back of a chair and without a word, he wrapped his arm around Monica’s shoulders to lift her so he could sit behind her. Wrapping the quilt around her tightly, he then drew her close to him, hoping the warmth of his body as well would warm her. A few minutes later, she stopped shivering quite so much, though Andrew stayed where he was, his cheek resting against her tangled hair.
Tess watched them together and felt helpless tears fill her eyes. She desperately needed answers to what had happened to Monica so she could begin to piece this thing together. Somehow she knew deep in her heart that Kathleen had been involved, and if that was the case it was going to take all Tess had to stay away from that dark angel. She had gone too far this time, of that Tess was certain. She heard Monica murmur something in her sleep and listened as Andrew soothed her, her heart breaking for both of them. She knew of their closeness and she knew that Andrew would probably blame himself before this was all over, but she would do everything she could to keep that from happening. What she had to know though was what had happened.
“Tess,” Sam’s voice behind her startled both she and Andrew as they looked at him, surprised to find him here.
“Sam,” Tess’ face showed her confusion,
“What are you doing here?”
“There are some things the two of you need to know,” Sam began softly, looking at each of them in turn,
“About what happened to Monica.”
Chapter 2
“Why don’t we go into the living room where we can speak freely?” Sam suggested, his kind, brown eyes seeing the strain on both Tess and Andrew’s faces,
“She’ll be fine for awhile and we’ll be right down the hall should she wake up, but I doubt she will for some time yet. She’s been through quite an ordeal, I’m afraid.”
Andrew got up carefully and gently returned Monica’s head to the pillows, then leaned down to kiss her on the forehead. He could still feel the fever raging through her and he took the cloth from the basin, rung it out and laid it across her forehead. As he walked by Sam, the older angel laid a comforting hand on his shoulder.
“I know its been a tough day, son,” Sam said softly.
Andrew nodded his head before he followed Tess out into the living room. She had sat down on the couch and indicated for Andrew to join her.
Tess was already beginning to worry about him as well. He and Monica had been through a lot together over the last few weeks and he was obviously feeling the strain. He sat down next to her and managed a tense smile as he took her hand in his, forever the comforter. Tess looked at Sam as he sat down across from them,
“What happened to our girl, Sam?” She asked, her eyes searching his for answers,
“One minute she was sound asleep in her assignment’s dorm room and the next time I see her, she is being carried in here by Andrew.”
Sam nodded his head,
“I don’t have all the details, Tess, but I’ll tell you both all that I do know. You know that Kathleen became involved with this last assignment?” Seeing them both nod, he continued,
“Kathleen was the reason God wanted Monica out of there as quickly as possible, which we all know didn’t happen. Monica chose to seek out Kathleen, in the hopes of making the situation between them better, I think. What she didn’t know at that time was that Kathleen was busy tormenting her assignment.”
“Stacey?” Andrew asked, a little confused.
Sam nodded his head once more,
“Kathleen was after Stacey’s soul in a way of getting back at Monica, no doubt. Monica found this out last night when she ran into Stacey. It seems Monica was doing some running herself for reasons I’m not clear on. Stacey thought if she could get far enough away from the college, then Kathleen would leave her alone.”
“Humph,” Tess grumbled,
“As if.”
“Monica opted to go with Stacey last night,” Sam continued, his eyes looking from Tess to Andrew,
“They covered a good bit of distance and apparently, Stacey pulled over to try and get some sleep very early this morning and that is when Kathleen turned up again. “ He hesitated for a moment, drawing in a deep breath,
“Kathleen told Monica it was either her or Stacey and the choice was up to Monica. Monica then made the greatest sacrifice an angel can make.”
Andrew closed his eyes against fresh tears as he heard a small sob escape Tess’ throat. He so wanted not to believe what he was hearing, that this had not happened to Monica. Suddenly he realized that the truth was going to be harder than the ignorance of not knowing.
Sam remained quiet for another moment before he gently proceeded,
“Monica, of course, chose for Kathleen to release the human and then Kathleen apparently took her to the darkest place an angel of God could ever know. I don’t know what happened to her while she was there, but I understand it is something she won’t soon forget…once she remembers.”
“What do you mean, ‘once she remembers’?” Tess asked, wiping at her eyes, trying to fathom everything that happened to her Angel Girl.
“It's highly possible Tess, that when she wakes up, she isn’t going to be the Monica you both know. She has been through a terrible ordeal, and something like this could destroy an angel.”
“What?” Andrew cried out, not believing what Sam was saying,
“Are you saying she may never recover from this?”
“Yes, Andrew,” Sam replied gently,
“That is what I’m saying. The Father felt that the best chance she had would be here, with the two of you. Other than God, she is closest to you both, so here is where she may be able to heal.”
Tess clutched Andrew’s hand tightly, feeling a tear slip down her cheek,
“Oh, my poor baby,” She uttered softly, then thinking of something she turned her eyes back to Sam,
“Sam, how did she get away from Kathleen?”
Sam smiled slightly and glanced up towards the heavens,
“He went and got her. He knew it was not Monica’s will to be there; she only wanted to save one of His children. So God got her back and called you, Andrew to bring her the rest of the way. He knew she would live, but He only wanted the two of you involved with her right now.”
“So, she will wake up?” Andrew asked, his voice tight as he tried to take everything into his mind that had happened and that could happen.
“Once her fever breaks, yes.” Sam replied, leaning forward in his chair for a moment to look at them both,
“But remember, she may not remember anything. She may not remember you and she may not even resemble the Monica you know. Be gentle with her; don’t try to force her to remember. If you do, then she may remember before her heart is ready to deal with what happened.”
“How much longer will she stay human, Sam?” Tess asked, worriedly.
“Until this is over, Tess. Until we know if she will recover. If, and we all hope this is not the case, she does not recover, then of course, the Father will take care of her. “ He fell silent for another moment before adding,
“I know this seems like a lot of ‘ifs’ to both of you, but this is in God’s hands, even if it doesn’t seem that way right now. This has never happened before and we just have to see how Monica fares,” He stood to leave, wishing he could offer them some kind of comfort,
“We’ll all be praying for her.” With those words, Sam was gone.
Tess and Andrew were quiet for a several minutes before Andrew broke the silence,
“I can’t believe this, Tess. She has to get better….she has to because I am not willing to lose one of my best friends!” He got up angrily and walked over to look out the glass door,
“I should have stayed with her. I should have stayed right there in the room with her! She was so afraid! I could feel it in her, Tess. It was like she knew that something was going to happen. I knew it and I still left her alone. It was only for a minute, but---.” He stopped short, closing his eyes in pain, remembering Nancy. Monica had turned her back, for a brief second and it was over,
“I never realized just how big of a difference a minute could make.” He whispered.
Tess watched him and listened as silent tears fell from her eyes. As strong as she was, she was having problems with all of this. Monica was so near and dear to her heart as she had trained her since she had become a caseworker. She had scolded her shortcomings and rejoiced in her achievements and if they weren’t angels, she would have looked at Monica very much like a daughter. Now that angel of Tess’ heart might not recover from the terrible unknown things that had happened to her and Tess had never felt more helpless in her existence. On top of that, now Andrew was blaming himself, which she knew would happen. She just wasn’t sure she had the strength to deal with it.
A horrible scream from Monica’s room erased any thoughts Tess may have had to comfort her Angel Boy. Andrew had already bolted for the bedroom, and as the screaming persisted, Tess turned to follow him,
“Oh Lord,” She whispered tearfully,
“Please help us to be able to help our Angel Girl.”
Chapter 3
Andrew found Monica thrashing and crying out in her sleep, her hands curled into fists as if she was trying to fight off invisible demons. He was at her side in an instant, catching both her hands up in one of his, as his other hand moved to stroke her hair back away from her face as he spoke softly to her,
“It’s okay, Monica. You’re safe here and no one is going to hurt you, I promise. It’s okay, sweetheart.” He watched as she began to quiet and the fight slowly drained from her exhausted body.
Tess had watched in horror as Monica had fought as though her life depended on it, her fists swinging in the air and her cries so full of pain, and her heart broke as she tried to imagine what it was she had undergone. How could she and Andrew possibly bring Monica back from that dark place in her mind when they didn’t know what she had gone through? It was obvious that Andrew’s presence had calmed her, which to Tess seemed like a good sign. He had always been able to do that for Monica when she was struggling with something. Tess walked over to the other side of the bed and sat down in the chair. She wrung out the cloth again and bathed Monica’s forehead in the cool water,
“That’s right, baby. There’s nothing to be afraid of here. Everybody here loves you very much,” Tess drew in a sharp breath as Monica’s eyelids fluttered for a moment before opening. Tess gazed into her charge’s brown eyes, which seemed glazed over and held no sign of recognition.
Monica glanced at the woman beside her and squinted her eyes, trying to bring her into focus. Unable to, she sighed softly and closed her eyes once more,
“So tired…” She uttered weakly as she fell back into unconsciousness once more.
Andrew felt as if he had been holding his breath for an eternity, when it had actually only been seconds. He exchanged a glance with Tess as he pulled the blankets more snugly around Monica, noticing she had begun to shiver once more,
“Then you sleep, Angel Girl,” He whispered, taking her hand into both of his and squeezing it gently,
“You sleep for as long as you’d like,” His eyes never left her face until it appeared she was resting relatively peacefully. He then drew in a shaky breath and looked back at Tess, his eyes filled with unanswered questions.
“I dunno, Angel Boy,” Tess sighed, seemingly reading his thoughts,
“There is an awful lot we don’t know about what happened, including what led up to it. Why was she running away with Stacey to begin with? Not that it matters, the damage has been done, but it might help us to help her if we knew.”
Andrew nodded his head, his own guilt put aside for the moment as they struggled to piece together the puzzle that Kathleen had created,
“There is so much I don’t know, Tess. I know Kathleen had her filled with doubts, but I don’t know to what extent.” He thought long and hard, trying to remember the little Monica had told him,
“When I helped her in the field yesterday, when she was being attacked, she asked me when it was over, if God had sent me. When I told her ‘no’, Tess, she was devastated and said that maybe Kathleen was right, that maybe God had left her out there to die.”
“How could she have thought that?” Tess exclaimed softly, not wanting to wake Monica.
“I’m telling you, Kathleen did a huge number on her this time, and Tess, I know this is not very angelic, but that demon does not want me to be around the next time she makes an appearance.” Andrew’s cheeks flushed with anger, which he struggled to hold back.
“Point well taken, Mr. Halo,” She replied,
“I wouldn’t mind having a go at her myself for what it’s worth,” Tess sighed, gazing down at the sleeping angel,
“Did she say anything else to you yesterday?”
Andrew nodded his head, remembering the other cause of deep fear for her,
“She made mention of the fact that if she remained human, she would never get to go Home. She was so afraid, Tess and she just didn’t know where to turn.”
“Angel Boy, she had to know where to turn. When we’re afraid, we turn to God. Monica knows that.”
Andrew was quiet for a moment, reflecting on what she had just said,
“I think Monica the angel knew that, but the Monica who had been human for over a week and had been through all that she had, may have forgotten.” He hoped he didn’t sound sarcastic, as he didn’t mean it that way. He just felt that being in human form for so long had been a factor in Monica’s actions,
“All she knew, Tess, was that she was out in the middle of a football field, having just survived an attack that I cannot imagine any human could have survived, hoping and praying that God had sent me to protect her. Kathleen had her feeling lost and alone and that she had betrayed God and in return was being betrayed.” He brought Monica’s hand to his lips to kiss it gently as his eyes rested on her face.
“But she knows that isn’t the way God works, Andrew,” Tess retorted, unable to fathom that Monica, even in her helpless human state could even think such things.
Andrew locked his eyes with Tess’ as he replied,
“But things aren’t always what they seem, right? That’s what you said to both of us when this whole thing started. We both know that she knows the truth, deep in her heart. She’s been speaking it for years. But at that moment, when so much had gone wrong already, she felt like she was surrounded by darkness. Kathleen made it seem that way to her, don’t you see?”
Tess sighed softly as she nodded her head,
“I suppose you do have a point, Andrew. Anyway, we aren’t going to have all the answers for a while yet. She’s the one that knows them and she has to be ready to talk about it. “
Andrew grew silent again as he moved to touch Monica’s cheek,
“Do you think she’ll recover, Tess?” He whispered, his voice almost like that of a frightened child.
Tess considered his question carefully, wishing she knew the answer to that herself,
“If love can bring her back, Angel Boy, then there is no doubt in my mind that when this is over, we’ll have our Angel Girl back Home with us. We just need to take this one day at a time and see what happens. “ She read the exhaustion in his face and eyes and stood up,
“C’mon, lets get some rest while she sleeps.”
Andrew looked up at Tess and shook his head,
“You go ahead, Tess. I’m going to stay with her if that’s alright.”
Tess felt a tug at her heart as she walked over to him and wrapped her arms around him tightly,
“Of course it is. You’ve always been a great comfort to her, Andrew. If anyone can chase away those demons she is dreaming about, you can.”
Tears burned in his eyes as he returned her hug,
“I’ll do my best,” He uttered softly.
“I know you will, Angel Boy. I know you will.”
Chapter 4
She had never felt such heat in her entire existence. She could feel the flames scorching her skin and the smoke burning in her eyes. She began to cough, feeling as though she couldn’t breath, suffocating from the smoke fumes she was inhaling. She was surrounded by darkness and fear made it impossible for her to move. She tried to cry out for help, but her voice made no sound.
The sound of mocking laughter made her cower close to the ground, as the voices spoke words of hatred and anger, saying that her soul now belonged to them.
“No!” Her mind screamed as she tried to see through the darkness. She had always been able to find light before, even in her bleakest moments, but now all was black. The voices grew louder and she clamped her hands over her ears, trying to block them out, but her attempts were only met with more laughter. The human angel trembled violently from fear and her heart pounded so hard that she thought it would surely burst from her chest.
“Oh Father,” Her mind cried,
“Please help me! I wanted to save her, but I don’t think I can do this!”
“You have no voice here!” The dark angel growled, hearing the pleas of her mind,
“And now you shall have no soul!” She began to laugh, a loud, bone-chilling cackle that made the angel go numb with fear.
Suddenly, it seemed as though hundreds of talons were tearing into her flesh, plunging into her in an effort to take from her all that she was. Her screams of pain were silent as no sound came from her throat. She tried to fight, but the darkness made it impossible to see her attackers. The laughter rang in her ears as the heat grew more intense and the pain more acute. She felt as if she was engulfed in flames of pain and it was unbearable.
She felt herself being lifted up, even as the claws continued to tear at her tender flesh. She closed her eyes and in her troubled mind, she heard someone singing a song about a bird. She tried to listen, but she was being taken farther away from the voice and as it became more distant, her heart was filled with sorrow.
Images then began to appear in her mind’s eye of people she felt she should know, but at best were vaguely familiar to her. The pictures came faster and faster, the images laughing at her. She began to cry, not understanding what she was being shown. The images passed through her mind so quickly that they became nothing more than a blur, before they stopped on one man-a man with gentle green eyes and blond hair. He was so familiar that her heart began to ache. She reached out a trembling hand to him, her eyes pleading with him, but he sadly shook his head,
“You chose this and I cannot intervene,” He said softly.
Her eyes welled up with tears and her lower lip began to tremble as her lips mouthed the words,
“Please…Oh please help me.”
His eyes were filled with anguish as he stood there helplessly and as the image began to fade, she began to cry. The sobs shook her body with great intensity as it all became more than she could bear. There was nothing on her body that did not hurt and the darkness surrounded her in a way it never had before. She hated the dark; it always made her feel lost and alone. But this time it was more than a feeling, it was truth. Truth like she had always spoken of. Truth, like all she had ever known and she finally surrendered to the pain and the darkness………
“Monica,” Andrew pleaded, tears in his eyes,
“Please wake up, honey.” He had been trying to awaken her for the last ten minutes from the nightmare that would not release her from its grip. He had watched in agony the wide range of emotions that ran across her pale face, watched as she had trembled and fought. Her lips had mouthed words that he couldn’t understand as he had tried to gently shake her to no avail. Now she lay, sobbing violently in his arms, still asleep, but caught up in her own private hell that would not let her go.
Andrew could barely stand it any longer. Seeing her suffer like this was breaking his heart into a million pieces. He had never heard her cry like this before, her sobs filled with such agony and defeat.
“Monica, please,” He cried out, before breaking into tears himself,
“I’m so sorry! I don’t know how to help you! I don’t know how to help you!”
At that moment, her sobs ceased and he felt her go limp in his arms, but he continued to hold her close to him as he sobbed into her soft, auburn hair. He had seen a glimpse of where she had been and what she had been through by watching her dream and he knew how horrible it had been. The Father had healed her physical wounds, but the ones on her soul seemed at the moment to be unreachable and the reality of that was tormenting him in a way that nothing ever had before. He longed to heal her, to bring back the cheerful angel she had been the other morning at the hospital, but he was helpless to do so. He hated this feeling, this feeling of not knowing how to “fix” it for her, for them.
Tess stood in the doorway, watching with tears in her own eyes as Andrew sobbed brokenly. It was almost more than she could bear to see both of her babies so wounded and not knowing how to make it better for them.
Quietly, she approached Andrew and laid her hands on his shoulders,
“Angel Boy.” She whispered softly, not wanting to startle him.
“Why wasn’t it me, Tess?” He sobbed, his hand stroking Monica’s hair even as he cried,
“I’d trade places with her in a heartbeat. It should have been me!”
Tess closed her eyes, his anguished words tearing at her heart,
“It wasn’t meant to be you, Andrew. I don’t have the answers as to why it was Monica, baby, but there has to be a reason for it. Maybe it’s because it’s your strength she’s going to need to get better. Or maybe it’s because once she comes to terms with this experience, it will make her an even better angel than she already is. Those are just guesses, baby, because that is all I have to go on right now.” Her hand moved to stroke his hair soothingly,
“I really think you need to take a little break, Angel Boy. I’ll stay with her.”
Andrew opened his mouth to argue, but then thought better of it. He could use a little air having been up with Monica all night,
“I think I will take a walk, Tess,” He uttered weakly. He carefully returned the sleeping Monica to her pillow as he stood up and turned to Tess,
“She had another nightmare, Tess and through it, she showed me a little of what she went through.” His eyes clouded, remembering the dream. He swallowed hard, trying to get rid of the lump in his throat,
“Tess…..I’m not sure she’s going to recover from it.” His voice broke off, as tears fell from his eyes.
Tess’ expression hardened as she met her fiery brown eyes with Andrew’s,
“Don’t you ever let me hear you give up on her,” She fumed,
“That is not what she nor I need from you, Mr. Halo. How would Monica feel if she heard you say that? I can tell you how she would feel—hurt! No one wants to know that their best friend has given up on them. Now I suggest you go for that walk and clear that blond head of yours before you come back here!”
Andrew starred at Tess, speechless for a moment,
“I didn’t mean---.” He stopped himself from continuing as his emotions began to well up inside of him once again,
“I’d better go,” He whispered, before turning on his heel and walking out of the room.
Tess watched him go, already regretting the harsh tone she had used when he had already been so upset. Looking up towards the heavens, she uttered miserably,
“Oh Lord, what have I done?”
Chapter 5
Tess felt terrible about the tone she had taken with Andrew. She watched Monica sleep as she berated herself for being so defensive when he had been so vulnerable. She knew, deep in her heart, that she simply couldn’t bear the thought of Monica not recovering and to hear Andrew voice what she herself had been trying so hard to deny had devastated her. The truth was that neither one of them knew what they were up against in trying to bring the Irish-tongued angel back to them. That truth terrified them both.
Tess moved her hand to lay it across Monica’s forehead and she realized that the fever was finally breaking as beads of sweat shone on the wounded angel’s face. Her skin now felt cool to the touch and Tess breathed a sigh of relief. As she gently stroked Monica’s hair, she softly began to sing, hoping to somehow soothe her charge through the song,
“When you walk through a storm, hold your chin up high and don’t be afraid of the dark. At the end of the road is a golden sky and the sweet, silver sound of a lark. Walk on through the wind, walk on through the rain, though your dreams be tossed and blown. Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart and you’ll never walk alone. You’ll never walk alone…”
Somewhere in the back of her mind, Monica heard the sound of a voice singing and she floated along peacefully on the notes for a moment. Singing. Something told her she loved singing. She struggled to remember when she had last heard someone sing as she continued to listen to the song.
Suddenly, her mind began to fill with images. Violent images, painful images and all the while someone was singing. She shook her head desperately, trying to clear from her mind what she was seeing. She began to feel pain, like knives being driven into her and the song would not end.
“Make it stop!” Her heart cried out silently but it was of no use.
She bolted upright in bed and clasped her hands over her ears as she cried out in agony,
“Stop! Make it stop! Make it Stop! Make it stop!”
“Monica!” Tess grasped her friend’s hand tightly, trying to bring her back from the dark place she was in at that moment. She watched as Monica’s eyes opened and locked with hers for a brief moment before Monica jerked her hand away. Tess drew in a sharp breath as watched Monica shrink away from her, her brown eyes wild with fear. She was shaking so violently and her face was deathly white as her lips moved silently with words Tess could not hear nor understand.
“Baby, it’s Tess. I won’t hurt you. You know I won’t hurt you.” Tess’ eyes were filled with tears of hurt as she realized she was causing her beloved Angel Girl pain that she couldn’t begin to understand.
That voice! Monica’s mind raced as she remembered the singing and she knew it had been coming from that voice. She opened her mouth to speak but there were no words.
“You have no voice here!” Her mind cried out and she clasped her hands over her ears once more to try and block out the voices that were laughing in her mind. She drew her knees up to her chin as she rocked back and forth, her heart pleading with the voices to leave her.
“Monica,” Tess’ voice trembled as she reached out for the frightened angel once more. But once more, Monica shrank away from her,
“Please, baby, don’t do this. No one can hurt you now, Angel Girl.”
The sound of the voice, the singing voice, caused tears of fear to well up in Monica’s eyes and she began to weep as she rocked and shook uncontrollably.
“Tess?” Andrew looked at her questionably as he entered the room. Two pairs of eyes moved to him, Tess’ filled with anguish and Monica’s with frightened tears,
“What happened?”
“I don’t know, Angel Boy,” She uttered, turning her head again to look at Monica, whose gaze seemed transfixed on Andrew,
“She doesn’t know me. She’s seems afraid of me.” Her voice broke then as she began to cry.
Monica starred at the blond haired man who had just come into the room. She remembered him. He had wanted to help her, but for some reason could not. Her terrified eyes darted wildly back to the woman, watching in desperation as she once again tried to reach out for her hand.
Before Andrew could even realize what happened, Monica had leapt off the bed and was in his arms as she began to sob in silence. He looked at Tess helplessly as he wrapped his arms around his friend, unable to believe how violently she was trembling.
“It’s okay, sweetheart,” He whispered gently, watching as Tess got up from the chair beside of the bed. He could clearly see the grief in her eyes and he longed to erase it.
Tess hesitated as she walked nearer to where her two Angel babies were standing,
“Monica? Baby?” She watched in horror as Monica buried her head further in Andrew’s chest as if trying to block out the sound of her voice. Tess turned her tear-filled eyes back to Andrew as she clasped her hand over to mouth to keep from crying out in grief. Wordlessly, she turned and walked out of the room.
Chapter 6
Andrew held tightly to the sobbing angel for a long time before her
silent tears began to slow. His heart ached for her and the pain he
could feel inside of her, even as his mind raced with questions about
what had just happened. Tess, for some reason, had terrified Monica and
he knew just how deeply that had wounded Tess.
Carefully, he pulled away a little to look at her tear-streaked face.
He watched as her brown eyes searched his, almost as if she was trying
to figure something out. He reached to cup her face in his hands as he
swiped at the tears on her cheeks with his thumbs,
“Monica,” He said softly, his voice husky with emotion,
“Do you know who I am?”
Andrew watched as she searched his face and he saw her eyes cloud up
with fresh tears as she helplessly shook her head. She opened her mouth
to speak, but then closed her eyes painfully, as if something was
tormenting her.
“What is it, Monica? Please, talk to me.” Andrew felt his heart break
as she dissolved into tears once more and he pulled her back into his
arms, holding her as tightly as he dared. She was so fragile right now,
so confused and he had to find a way to help her.
“You can talk to me, sweetheart,” He whispered into her ear,
“You can tell me anything. There is nothing to be afraid of here.”
She clung tightly to him, trying so hard to remember why he was so
familiar and why she knew she didn’t have to be afraid of him. There
was a certain peace about him, a warm comfort and she felt safe for the
first time in a long time.
“Andrew?” She uttered, her voice scarcely a whisper.
“Yes?” He replied, pulling away to look once again into her eyes. He
saw so much pain and grief there that it made him only want to protect
her from any more harm.
Monica swallowed hard, almost afraid to speak,
“I…I feel like I should know you, but yet I can’t remember why I feel
that way,” Her expression turned desperate before she bowed her head,
“What’s the matter with me? What happened that I can’t remember
anything?”
Andrew took her hand and led her over to the bed so they could sit
down. He then wrapped his arm around her trembling shoulders to pull
her close, all the while remembering Sam’s words of caution about Monica
needing to remember things in her own time,
“You’ll remember when the time is right, honey.” He replied softly, as
she rested her head wearily on his shoulder.
“But who are you?” She pleaded, closing her eyes as she struggled to
remember.
“A friend,” Andrew whispered, moving his head to kiss her forehead,
“A friend who loves and cares about you very much. Just like Tess. She
won’t hurt you, Monica--.” He stopped as she jerked her head up, her
eyes now filled with fear.
“Please, please don’t let her come back here, Andrew!” She uttered,
tears streaking her cheeks. She began to hear the singing in her mind
again and the laughing. She closed her eyes tightly and clamped her
hands over her ears to try to drown it out,
“Oh please, make them stop,” She sobbed in anguish,
“Please, oh please, don’t let them hurt me again..”
Andrew quickly drew her back into his arms as tears filled his eyes as
well,
“Please, help her, Father,” His mind prayed frantically as he searched
for the words to comfort her,
“Don’t listen to them, sweetheart. Listen to me, okay? I won’t let
them hurt you and I’m going to do everything I possibly can to make them
stop for good. I promise you that, Monica. I’m not sure of how I’m
going to do that yet, but I’ll find a way.”
“Every time I close my eyes, they’re there,” She wept, curling into his
embrace and holding on for dear life,
“And I can’t remember who they are or why they want to hurt me, but they
are always there! Why can’t I remember, Andrew? Why?”
“Shhh,” He whispered, rocking her gently in his arms, as he tried to
think of what he could safely tell her. She wanted answers so badly and
he didn’t want to totally deny her what she needed,
“Something traumatic happened to you, Monica and its best if you
remember it when you are ready to remember it. When that time comes, I
want you to know that I will be right here with you to help you. You
will not go through this alone, you have my word on that.”
Tearfully, she looked up at him and managed a sad smile,
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were my angel,” She
whispered shyly.
Andrew reached to caress her tear-stained cheek and returned her smile,
“The truth is a lot closer than you think,” He replied as he pulled away
from her a little,
“Why don’t you try to get some sleep now, sweetie.”
She nodded her head as she slid back up the bed and curled herself into
a tight ball as she laid her head down on the pillow.
“Will you stay with me awhile?” She whispered as he pulled the blanket
up over her.
Though he desperately wanted to speak with Tess, Andrew couldn’t miss
the hope in Monica’s brown eyes and he smiled,
“Of course I will,” He said softly as he sat down on the edge of the
bed. He watched as she closed her eyes and he stroked her dark hair
until she drifted off to sleep.
Chapter 7
Andrew walked out to the living room a little while later, his green
eyes filling with sympathy at the sight of Tess. He immediately knew
that she had been crying, though she was trying desperately not to show
it.
“Tess, I’m so sorry…”
“Don’t you feel sorry for me, Mr. Halo,” She replied, her voice
trembling a little, even as she tried to control it,
“I’m just fine. Sam said she might not know us when she woke up, so it
wasn’t like it was unexpected. I guess I just didn’t expect her to
remember you and not me, that’s all.”
Andrew shook his head as he approached her and sat down on the ottoman
across from her,
“No, Tess, you’ve got it all wrong. Monica doesn’t know me—I asked
her. For some reason that she doesn’t understand though, she trusts me,
or seems to, and I’m thankful for that. But she has no idea why she
knows me. “ Tentatively, Andrew reached for Tess’ hand,
“Tess, I know it had to hurt you when she pulled away from you in
there. I know how much you love Monica and she loves you too, she
just…doesn’t remember that right now.”
Tess lowered her eyes as she faced her feelings,
“You’re right, Andrew. I am hurt and I’m angry and I don’t want to feel
that way because that baby in there is lost in a world of darkness right
now that I cannot begin to understand. I just hate to see her suffering
the way she is, Angel Boy and not be able to help her. But while you
were back there with Monica, the Father and I had a little talk and He
reminded me that this assignment belonged to you and to Monica from day
one and it looks like it still does.”
Andrew’s face paled a little as he looked into her eyes,
“You’re not leaving are you?”
Tess smiled sadly as she reached out to cup his cheek in her hand,
“No, I’m not going anywhere and thank you for still making me feel
needed.”
Andrew took her hand from his face and kissed it tenderly,
“Tess, you know we always need you. I definitely need your guidance and
support in this and so does Monica, she just doesn’t realize it yet.”
“Well, the way I see it, she’s a human and will need to eat and even
though you are an angel, you like to eat, so I can keep myself busy that
way. Not to mention that this is going to be a hard time for you too,
Angel Boy. It’s hard to watch someone you love hurt and Monica is
hurting right now. I worry about you too, Andrew.” Tess looked into his
eyes with her knowing brown ones, able to see all the sorrow and grief
he was feeling. She watched as he struggled with his emotions and she
patted the seat beside of her,
“C’mere baby.”
Andrew swallowed hard as he moved to sit beside of Tess and she wrapped
her arms around him in a warm, strong hug. There were no words between
them for several moments as they gained strength from each other and
from the Father.
Tess felt some of the tension leave him and she said softly,
“Now, tell me, what does our Angel Girl remember?”
“Not much,” He replied in a whisper,
“She says that something keeps trying to hurt her and there is so much
fear in her Tess. I can feel it and see it. She doesn’t understand why
she can’t remember anything and I didn’t tell her much. Only that she
had been through something difficult and she needed to remember it on
her own. I just wish I knew why she was so afraid of you, Tess. She’s
terrified and she won’t tell me why. “
“Have patience, Andrew,” Tess said soothingly,
“The things she went through are rooted deeply in her mind and it’s
going to take time to dig them up. We don’t want her to remember too
fast because I have a feeling that if she does, it will overwhelm her. “
Before Andrew could reply, a scream came from Monica’s room, followed by
a loud crash. Both angels scrambled to their feet as Andrew took off
running down the hallway.
“Oh Father, help,” Andrew uttered as he entered the room to find Monica
huddled in the corner of the room, her brown eyes filled with tears and
wild panic. Her gaze seemed fixated on something at the foot of the
bed, but Andrew saw nothing there.
“Monica,” He said softly, hoping she would look at him, but her eyes
never moved from the foot of the bed. Purposefully, he stepped
carefully in front of her, breaking her line of vision and he watched as
the frightened eyes turned to him. It was then that Andrew realized she
was bleeding and he was beside her in an instant. Gently, he took hold
of her wrist and brought her arm straight out, his face turning deathly
white when he saw the slash across her wrist,
“Monica, why?” He asked painfully as he quickly took off his shirt and
ripped it in half to wrap around her wrist to try and stop the
bleeding. His heart was pounding so loudly with fear over what she had
done and he couldn’t begin to understand,
“Why would you do this, huh?” His hands took hold of her shoulders as he
forced her to look at him,
“Answer me, Monica. Why?”
Tears flooded her eyes as she shook her head,
“I didn’t do it, Andrew.”
“Monica, no one else is here. How else could this have happened?” His
concerned eyes searched hers, looking for answers.
Misunderstanding his concern for anger, she began to sob brokenly,
“I didn’t do it, Andrew. I swear to you I didn’t do it! Please don’t
be angry with me. You’re all I have!”
Realizing what he had done, Andrew closed her into his arms and hugged
her fiercely,
“No, I’m not angry with you, sweetheart. You just scared me is all.” He
scooped her up into his arms and carried her back to bed,
“I need to get something to bandage your arm with Monica,” He said
softly as he tried to pull away, but Monica wasn’t letting go.
She looked into his eyes, her expression one of complete desperation,
“Please help me, Andrew. I need to remember what happened to me and I
know you know at least part of it. “ She paused as sobs overcame her
once more.
“Baby, I cannot remember for you. I wish that I could, but I can’t,”
Andrew explained, his own voice laced with tears.
“Then please, just don’t leave me alone, please don’t leave me alone.
They come here when I’m alone.”
“They? Monica, who are they?” He asked pleading for an answer, but he
would not get one now. Monica had clamped her hands over her ears once
more, hearing things that only she could hear. As he watched her, he
fell to his knees on the floor, pleading with the Father for her
healing. Tears streaked his face as he prayed over his friend, praying
that she would be once again made complete.
Standing at the foot of the bed, unseen by Monica or Andrew, stood
Kathleen, a satisfied smile spreading across her lips. Then she laughed
loudly once more, watching as Monica cringed at the sound, before she
vanished from the room entirely.
Chapter 8
Monica awoke the next morning and slowly opened her eyes, squinting a
little from the sunshine that was streaming in through her bedroom
window. Sitting up, she realized that Andrew was fast asleep in the
chair beside of her bed. His face looked drawn and tired to her and she
decided against waking him at that moment. Andrew being near her all
night had kept the horrible nightmares at bay and for that she was
eternally grateful as she felt better than she had since she had arrived
here. Her stay in this house however, was a little vague to her and
only a few isolated incidents had remained in her mind.
Slipping out of bed, she decided upon a hot shower to maybe clear her
head. Quietly and curiously, she opened the door to the closet and
found it filled with clothes that appeared to be her size. She selected
a long, floral skirt and a sleeveless white blouse and grabbing the
other items she would need, she slipped silently into the adjourning
bathroom and closed the door.
The hot water from the shower felt wonderful and she emerged feeling
much better. Once dressed, she glanced at her refection in the mirror
and her expression saddened a little. She so longed to remember where
she had come from and who she really was. Andrew called her “Monica”,
so she was sure that was her name, but why couldn’t she remember that?
She thought maybe if she stared at her reflection long enough, it would
all come back to her, but nothing did. She glanced down at the bandage
on her wrist and tears filled her eyes. She knew that Andrew thought
she had done this, but she couldn’t have. Yet, for the life of her, she
couldn’t recall how it had happened. Her life seemed like one enormous
void to which there was no beginning. Sighing softly, she opened the
door.
Andrew looked up from where he sat in the chair and smiled gently at
her,
“Good morning. Feeling a little better today?” His eyes searched hers,
trying to determine her mood.
She nodded her head as she moved to sit on the edge of the bed, facing
him,
“I do, a little. Thank you for staying with me last night,” She saw him
smile and she lowered her eyes briefly,
“Andrew, I know you think I tried to hurt myself last night, but I
didn’t. The truth is, I can’t remember what happened.” Her eyes
remained downcast, staring at her wrist.
Andrew took his hand and put his fingers under her chin to raise her
face back to his,
“You mentioned last night that when you were alone that ‘they come
here’. Monica, do you know who they are?”
“No,” She whispered softly, her eyes never leaving his, grateful for the
kindness that she saw reflected in them,
“I hear them. Voices, so many voices. They laugh at me and tell me I
have no voice here. I don’t know what any of it means and I wish that I
did so maybe I could make them stop.” She hesitated and closed her eyes
for a moment, her expression one of confusion,
“Andrew, who is Stacey?”
Andrew drew in a sharp breathe upon hearing her question,
“Stacey?”
Monica nodded her head,
“I think I had a dream about someone with that name and I can’t shake
the feeling that she was someone I was supposed to help. Do you know
why I was supposed to help her?”
Andrew’s thoughts raced frantically, wondering how much he should reveal
and how quickly,
“Yes,” He responded gently, his heart pounding loudly in his chest,
“You did help her. You sacrificed everything for her and that sacrifice
is why you are here.” He reached to take both of her hands into his own
as he watched her expression carefully. He could tell she couldn’t
remember anything more and wanting to avoid her remembering too much at
once, he changed directions,
“Honey, can you tell me why you are so afraid of Tess?”
At the mention of the name, Monica’s eyes turned fearful as she tried to
focus on his question,
“The singing,” She replied grasping his hands tightly in frustration,
“When she sings, bad things happen to me. I can’t explain it, Andrew.
I wish that I could, but--.”
Sensing that she was quickly becoming overwhelmed, Andrew pulled her
close for a moment,
“It’s okay, sweetheart. Don’t force it. You’ve done very well this
morning, remembering what you did and I’m very proud of you. I don’t
want you to worry about any of it. The memories will come back when the
time is right. They will come back in God’s time.”
“God?” She whispered, pulling away to look at him once more as a small
smile crossed her lips,
“I remember God. I know that He is very important to me.”
Andrew tried to contain the excitement he felt at her words,
“Yes, Monica! He is very important to you and to me and to Tess. Do
you remember why?”
She pondered his question for a moment, but then shook her head, though
her smile remained,
“No, not yet, but I remembered something, Andrew! I remembered!”
His heart filled with joy at her excitement as he caught a small glimpse
of his friend as she used to be before all of this happened to her. His
green eyes glistened with tears of happiness for her as he kissed her
forehead,
“Yes, sweetie, you did and the rest will come. I’ll tell you what. Let
me grab a shower and how about a walk on the beach? It will be good for
you to get out for awhile. How does that sound?”
Monica nodded her head happily,
“I’d like that, Andrew.”
As he left the room to get ready, Monica stood up and walked over to the
window. Outside, she could see the waves breaking on the shore as the
water glistened in the morning sun.
“Today will be a better day,” She thought aloud to herself.
“Oh, you think so?” Kathleen replied as she stood next to Monica. Though
the human angel could not see her, Kathleen knew Monica heard every
word,
“Do you think Andrew is going to be able to help you? He already thinks
your crazy, you know?”
“Leave me alone,” Monica turned in the direction that the voice was
coming from as she trembled with fear,
“Why won’t you leave me alone?!”
“He won’t help you, Monica. No one can help you now. You have no one!
Do you think you remember God? Let me help you remember Him. He
abandoned you! You weren’t worth His time either! Andrew is just being
nice to you till he can figure out how to get rid of you.”
“No! That’s not true!” Monica cried out angrily. Though the words
hurt her right down to the very core of her being, she did not want to
believe that what she was hearing was truth.
“Truth.” She whispered aloud, somehow knowing that truth was important.
But why?
“You’ll never know the truth,” Kathleen lashed out as she became visible
to Monica. She watched with a smile as the angel’s eyes grew wide with
fear.
“Who are you? What do you want from me?” Monica pleaded.
“Your soul!” Kathleen hissed, backing Monica into the corner of the
room,
“Maybe you should know the truth, Monica. The truth this time, will
destroy you, you know. “
Monica’s eyes never left Kathleen’s as she trembled violently,
“My soul,” She thought, trying so hard to remember. She knew she had
heard those words before.
“Here’s a memory for you, Angel Girl,” Kathleen taunted, watching with
glee as horrible images began in play in Monica’s mind.
Monica saw hundreds of hands reaching for her, claws tearing at her
skin, and she tried to shake the images out of her mind. Her fear began
to overwhelm her as silent tears streaked her face.
“You didn’t help Stacey either, so don’t let him fool you. After you
sent her away, she wrecked her car on the way home and all because you
allowed her to run away. You disobeyed your orders and that is the
reason all of this happened. You knew you were in trouble, so you made
a decision to go with me.” Kathleen watched as Monica sank to the
floor, her hands covering her face,
“So how does the truth feel, Miss Wings?”
“That’s not how it happened!” Monica managed to say in between sobs.
Her heart was breaking over the words Kathleen had spoken and the
memories that had come flooding back in a rush that was too great for
her to be able to grasp.
“Do you think God wants an angel who has been tainted by the powers of
hell, Monica? No, of course He doesn’t. Especially not one who cannot
do what she is told to do. You have nowhere to go now, so I’ll be
patient. But know that your fate has been sealed, Monica. There is no
way back now.” Kathleen laughed as she vanished from the room, leaving
the angel, broken and weeping in anguish.
“Ready to go--.” Andrew stopped short as he saw Monica, sitting on the
floor, her hands covering her face as she cried as though her heart
would break. Fear gripped him as he carefully approached her and knelt
down beside of her,
“Monica?” He laid his hand firmly on her shoulder.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” She cried out angrily, her angry tear-filled
eyes meeting his,
“You, Andrew, of all angels, why didn’t you tell me the truth?”
He swallowed hard, trying to come to grips with this new situation,
“What do you remember, Monica?”
“All of it!” She sobbed brokenly,
“I remember you and who I am and Tess---.” Tess. Her sobs became more
intense as she remembered the way she had treated her friend. One
friend had betrayed her and the other, she had betrayed, and Stacey…
“Is Stacey alive?” She managed to say.
Andrew’s heart was racing. What had happened to Monica in the ten
minutes he was gone? He knew it was all too much, too fast, but what
had occurred?
“I don’t know, honey,” He answered honestly.
“Don’t lie to me! You’ve known everything all along! Did you not want
to tell me because of what is going to become of me? “ Shakily, she got
to her feet, watching as he rose along with her,
“I need to be alone,” She started for the door, trying to control the
tears that would not stop, but the dam had been opened by Kathleen.
“Monica, wait!” Andrew pleaded, taking her arm to stop her, but she
wretched free.
“Leave me alone, Andrew! Just leave me alone!” Without another word,
she was out the bedroom door and out the door of the house, leaving him
to stand there, tears in his eyes, not understanding at all what had
just happened.
Chapter 9
“What just happened here?” Tess demanded, stopping Andrew before he
could follow Monica out the door,
“And where is she going?”
Andrew closed his eyes painfully as he tried to keep his emotions in
check,
“She remembers, Tess. She says she remembers everything, but yet, it
doesn’t make sense.”
Tess looked at Andrew in shock,
“What do you mean she remembers everything? We were supposed to help
her remember gradually, Mr. Halo, not open up the flood gates and hope
for the best.”
“That’s what I was doing,” He countered, his voice tight as he tried to
keep the anger from his voice,
“This morning she remembered Stacey, but she couldn’t remember how she
helped her and she remembered that she was afraid of you because things
happened to her when you sang, but she couldn’t explain it. She also
remembered God, but couldn’t remember that she was an angel. Then, I go
to take a shower and when I come back, she has remembered everything and
now she’s furious with me for not telling her! She said she needed to
be alone, but I have to find her, Tess!”
“Now hold on just a minute, Angel Boy,” She stopped him before he could
go any further,
“Maybe what she needs is a little bit of space for awhile--.”
“No, Tess,” He cut her off mid-sentence,
“If she has remembered everything and I mean everything, then the last
thing she needs is to be alone with her thoughts. She is so vulnerable
right now and none of this makes any sense. She wanted to know if
Stacey was alive. Why would she ask me that, huh?”
Tess was quiet for a moment as though listening to someone,
“Stacey was in an accident, Andrew.” She said softly.
“How could she know that?” Andrew cried out,
“She’s human, Tess, she couldn’t have known!”
“Lets go, Angel Boy,” She replied, heading to the door with Andrew close
behind her,
“I’ve got a bad feeling that my baby didn’t remember anything on her
own.”
Monica had left the house running and had been running ever since. The
ocean breeze stung her red and swollen eyes, but she didn’t care. She
ran until she became exhausted from running and crying, then she slowed
her pace to a walk. Try as she might, she could not stop the tears.
Sobbing, she walked out until her bare feet were in the water before she
fell to her knees, her body heaving with anguished sobs.
What had she done? How could this have happened to her and where did it
go so terribly wrong? Everything she had ever believed had been
stripped from her and the memories that kept racing through her mind
were tearing her apart piece by piece. She was sure that soon there
would be nothing left of her. The horrible experience she had endured
while with Kathleen would not leave her mind and it was all she could do
to think about Stacey. If she, herself had not been running away,
Stacey could have been spared the pain of her accident. The emotions
that flowed through the angel, grief, pain, guilt, anguish, were the
most intense feelings she had ever in her existence felt before.
She longed to talk to the Father, but knew she could not, not after
where she had been and what she had done. Even in the bright sunshine,
Monica now felt surrounded by darkness to which there was no end for
her. Defeated, she laid down on the wet sand, letting the cold ocean
water dampen her body to match her spirits. What would become of her
now? Had Kathleen been right all along?
“Baby?” She heard Tess’ painfully familiar voice behind her, but her
body was so heavy with grief that she didn’t feel like she could move,
“Please, just leave me alone,” She sobbed brokenly,
“If you know what’s good for you, you’ll just go away and forget you
ever knew me. I’ve hurt so many and have been touched by pure evil and
I don’t even think I can bear to have you look at me, Tess.”
Tears spilled onto Tess’ cheeks at the sound of her words that held a
pain greater than Tess had ever felt in all her life as an angel,
“Monica, baby, I love you and nothing that you’ve done or any place
you’ve been is ever going to change that.”
Tess’ words only seemed to make Monica cry harder,
“I’m not worth those feelings, Tess…”
Unable to stand it anymore, Andrew knelt down to her and pulled her to
her feet, though she refused to look at him,
“We’re going to get through this together, sweetheart. Tess and I love
you so much and you deserve every bit of it. I know you’re angry at me
right now, but I was only trying to do what was best for you, to try and
spare you the pain of knowing everything at once. “
“I’m not angry with you, Andrew,” She managed to choke out,
“You’ve only ever tried to take care of me, but you shouldn’t have
wasted your time. I’m so sorry…I must be such a huge disappointment to
you both.”
Tess approached them and pulled Monica into her loving embrace, holding
her tightly. She felt the violent sobs racking through her small body
and Tess looked up to see Andrew’s face streaked with tears as well.
They both knew that this was not going to be easy.
“You never disappoint us, baby,” Tess whispered lovingly to her.
“Please help me,” Monica pleaded, holding tightly to her supervisor,
“I…I feel like I’m drowning in all of this!”
“I know, Angel Girl, I know. C’mon and lets head home so you can change
into something dry and warm and then the three of us will talk,
alright?” She pulled away a little to look into Monica’s swollen eyes.
Monica nodded her head as they started back, her body shaking so badly,
it was all she could do to walk and she wasn’t sure if it was from the
cold water or from her emotions.
Drying the tears on his face, Andrew turned to her and held out his
arms, scooping her up as she went to him. She wrapped her arms around
his neck, burying her face in his shoulder.
“I’m sorry.” She whispered miserably to him as he walked to catch up
with Tess.
“There is nothing to be sorry for, Monica. I love you so much,” He
looked into her eyes as she gazed up at him,
“Please, don’t give up. I can only imagine how much it hurts, but you
can get through this; we can get through this.”
“I hope so, Andrew,” She uttered tearfully,
“I hope so.”
Chapter 10
Tess and Andrew waited in the living for Monica to join them, nearly an
hour later. Andrew had started a fire in the fireplace and Tess had
laid out a comforter and some pillows on the floor near the fire before
sitting down in the chair nearest the fire. They both looked up as
Monica approached them, dressed uncharacteristically in an oversized
sweatshirt and sweatpants, her hair, still damp from the ocean, hung
limply and her large brown eyes were downcast.
Andrew patted the seat on the floor beside him and at Tess’ feet and she
carefully sat down, crossed her legs and placed her hands in her lap,
her eyes gazing briefly at the fire. She shivered a little, even though
the room was comfortably warm. Sadly, she looked up at Tess, then at
Andrew, before looking down at her hands once more,
“I’m not sure of what to say,” She whispered finally, after a moment.
“Why don’t you tell us what happened, baby,” Tess urged gently, her hand
reaching down to stroke the damp hair on Monica’s head,
“Why don’t you start with what happened while you were still at the
college? What did Kathleen tell you out on that field before Andrew got
there?”
She nodded her head and not meeting either of their concerned gazes, she
began to speak, the words tumbling out in a rush of pain,
“She wanted me to go with her. She said..she said that God had
abandoned me and left me human and that I could either die there or
agree to come with her. I wouldn’t agree to go, but she kept saying all
of these terrible things. I started praying, begging Him for help and
guidance, but there was only silence. I tried to tell Kathleen all of
the right things—that God hadn’t left me, that He knew exactly what was
happening to me, but…” A single tear slid down her cheek,
“I didn’t really believe it, or at least I was having a hard time
believing it. I started saying the words to that song I’ve heard you
sing, Tess. You know, the one about the sparrow and then the attack
began. I thought I heard you finish the song, Tess, but I think it was
only in my mind, and then Andrew was there, protecting me from them.”
She felt him put his arm around her shoulders in an attempt to comfort
her and she briefly looked up at him thankfully,
“I asked Andrew if God had sent him to help me and he told me ‘No’ and I
couldn’t even grasp the fact that if Andrew hadn’t of shown up, what
could of happened to me. “
“Angel Girl,” Tess said softly, not wanting to give her a lecture, but
needing her to know just the same,
“You know that the Father knows all and He knew that Andrew was going to
be there for you, baby.”
“I know, Tess, but it hurt, just the same.” She replied in a voice that
was scarcely a whisper.
“Why did you leave the college, Monica?” Andrew asked her, trying to
meet her eyes, but failing,
“I was worried when you vanished like you did.”
“I heard you and Tess talking about how Sam was upset over what had
happened and that I had caused enough trouble for you, Andrew. I hated
the fact that you two were in trouble for my actions, so I figured if I
left, then I wouldn’t make things any worse for you both.”
“Monica,” Andrew scolded gently,
“You should know better than that. I did what I did because I wanted to
do it. I knew how afraid you were and I couldn’t leave you alone, even
though I tried. “
Monica closed her eyes as several more tears escaped them,
“That was when I ran into Stacey. She was running away too, away from
Kathleen. Kathleen wouldn’t leave her alone, so I offered to go with
her in order to try to solve both our problems. We talked and I told
her who I was and the funny thing was, that I think she believed me,
even though I was no angel at that point. I must of fallen asleep
because when I woke up we were at the rest stop and so was Kathleen.
She told me that it was either me or Stacey, so of course, I told Stacey
to get out of there and then…..” She swallowed hard, trying to get rid
of the lump that had formed in her throat. Tears began to fall freely
as she covered her face with her hands.
Seeing her pain, Andrew pulled her into his arms and held her tightly,
hardly able to stand the grief that consumed her.
“Baby,” Tess said softly, setting a hot cup of mocha latte down on the
wooden stool near her,
“You have got to get this out, so we can help you; so you can start to
heal.”
“Oh Tess,” She wept, clinging tightly to Andrew,
“I don’t think I can heal from this. It was so terrible! It was so
dark, but yet I knew that there were demons all around me…I could hear
them….feel them…. They were laughing at me and then I felt claws tearing
at my body. I could hear you singing from somewhere far away as all of
this was happening and all these faces kept flashing through my mind,
faces of past assignments, mostly people I had failed. Then…then it was
Andrew’s face I saw and I tried to beg for help, but I couldn’t talk.
Andrew, you looked so sad and told me that I had made this choice and
you couldn’t help me any longer,” Overwhelmed, she sobbed helplessly for
a moment,
“The pain was unbearable…like nothing I had ever felt before! It was
dark and hot and all the while, they were tearing at me, and I knew that
they were going to capture my soul. I—I can’t remember anything after
that….”
Andrew tightened his arms around her as the sobs convulsed through her,
“Let it out, sweetheart,” He whispered, tears falling from his own eyes
as he took in all that she had endured. He could only imagine how he
would have reacted had it been him, but he almost couldn’t bear the fact
that this had happened to the most gentle soul he knew. He looked up at
Tess and saw the tears streaming down her face as well.
“And it doesn’t end there, does it, baby?” Tess uttered, trying
desperately to keep her own emotions under control. She watched as
Monica shook her head, unable to speak at that moment,
“No,” Tess said softly,
“I didn’t thing so.”
Monica cried for a long time, until her body and mind were completely
exhausted. She lay in Andrew’s arm, completely drained, grateful for
the comforting feeling of his hand stroking her hair. She felt almost
sick as she wondered what she would ever do without he and Tess, her two
best friends. She wondered how long she had with them before they had
to return Home and what would become of her when that day came.
“Do you think God wants an angel who has been tainted by the powers of
hell, Monica? No, of course He doesn’t.” Kathleen’s words echoed inside
of her mind and she closed her eyes in misery,
“I don’t feel very well,” She whispered weakly.
Andrew grabbed a pillow and laid it in his lap, helping his friend to
rest her head as she stretched out on the floor. Lovingly, he covered
her with a quilt before he went back to stroking her hair gently,
watching as she began to drift off to sleep.
“I love you both,” She whispered, as the exhaustion overtook her body.
“We love you too, baby,” Tess responded, looking down at the pale, tired
face of her friend as she gave in to sleep.
Andrew turned his concerned eyes to Tess once he heard Monica’s even
breathing,
“What happens now, Tess?”
“Well, baby, we haven’t heard all of the story yet, I know that. Things
have happened in this house and I have a feeling that Kathleen is behind
that. But she’ll tell us when she’s ready. This was enough for one
day. She needs us now, more than ever, Angel Boy and she needs the
Father, but she’s never going to go to Him feeling the way she does
right now. She’s too depressed and too full of grief and guilt. “
“She’s been through so much,” Andrew stated sadly, gazing down at the
sleeping angel.
“Yes, she has, Andrew. More than she ever should have had to go
through, but it’s too late for that. Right now, she needs us to love
her, and listen to her and then, later, she’s going to need to listen.”
Tess sighed softly as her eyes never left Monica’s face.
“Tess,” He began hesitantly,
“Is she going to be alright?”
Tess was quiet for a moment, considering his question carefully,
“I think it’s still too soon to tell, baby. God is in control though
and that is what we need to keep in mind. “
Andrew nodded his head as he turned his attention back to the sleeping
angel, watching she trembled in her sleep,
“I love you, Monica,” He whispered, wrapping the quilt more snugly
around her,
“And I’m never going to let you go.”
Chapter 11
Andrew looked up when Monica came in the back door of the beach house
the following morning. He had awoken early to find her gone and at
first he had panicked, until he found the note she had left, saying she
had gone for a walk.
“Good Morning,” He greeted her with a gentle smile, noticing she was
dressed in the same clothes she had been in the night before and her
eyes still so vividly held the pain that he was getting accustomed to
seeing,
“I was just fixing a little breakfast. Care to join me?”
Monica managed a small smile, as she looked at the fresh fruit salad and
blueberry muffins that were on the table. She couldn’t remember the
last time she had eaten and the funny thing was that she didn’t feel in
the least bit hungry, but seeing Andrew’s hopeful expression, she nodded
her head,
“Thank you,” She said softly as he pulled her chair out for her and set
a steaming cup of coffee down in front of her. She wrapped her hands
around the mug to warm them and inhaled the scent of the beverage she
loved so much,
“I can’t remember the last time I had a hot cup of coffee,” She
commented as he got out two plates and some silverware and sat down with
her.
“I believe it was that morning at the hospital,” Andrew smiled as he
dished her up some of the fruit salad and set it down in front of her.
“Ahh, yes,” She returned his smile, grateful for his company after being
alone with her thoughts all morning,
“And I believe it was you who got me that cup as well. Where is Tess
this morning?”
“She said she had an errand to run and would be back a little later
today,” He explained, watching as she toyed with the bowl of fruit in
front of her,
“Monica, you have to eat.”
“I’m just not very hungry, Andrew,” She sighed softly, laying down her
spoon and taking a sip of her coffee.
He reached across with his hand and laced his fingers through hers,
“Sweetie, if there is anything I can do, anything at all, to make you
feel better, please tell me.”
She looked up and met her eyes with his,
“Your just being here helps,” She replied, giving his hand a gentle
squeeze,
“I don’t know what I would do without you and Tess right now. I’m not
certain that I deserve such wonderful friends, but I’m thankful that I
have them just the same.”
“Why would you say that?” He asked gently,
“What did you do that makes you think you don’t deserve us, Monica?”
His green eyes were troubled as he tried to understand a part of the
grief that was weighing so heavily upon her heart.
“I’ve been a part of something evil, Andrew…”She began in a whisper.
“You sacrificed yourself for Stacey,” He interrupted her, his eyes never
leaving hers,
“You saved one of God’s children from the fires of hell and that,
Monica, was a completely unselfish act. Why do you believe otherwise?”
Upset by his words, Monica got up from the table and walked over to the
sliding glass doors to look out upon the ocean,
“I don’t expect you to understand, Andrew.”
“Well then, make me understand,” He said firmly, trying to find a way to
get through to her,
“I want to understand, but I’m sorry, I don’t. You seem to think that
you did something terribly wrong and that is why this happened to
you--.”
“I did!” She lashed out at him, turning back around to face him,
“I didn’t trust the Father! I went looking for Kathleen and I ran away
when things got too tough! I didn’t save Stacey—she was in an accident
when I screamed at her to get out of there! I made a mess of things and
that is something that I have to live with!”
Andrew got up from his chair and approached her, placing his hands
firmly on her shoulders,
“Look me in the eyes, Monica, and tell me that you meant for this to
happen! That it was your fault Kathleen turned the entire assignment
upside down! Tell me it was your fault that Stacey was driving too fast
and was in that accident! Did you mean for that to happen, huh?”
“No! Of course I didn’t mean for it to happen, but it happened because
of choices I made, of my own free will! Those choices were
intentional! I thought I could do things my way and still get the job
done and that was wrong!” Her temper flared back at him.
“Stop taking responsibility for everything that went wrong,” He
countered,
“Since when is everything on this earth your responsibility to make sure
it goes right? “
“If I am not at fault for my actions on this, Andrew, then why am I
still human? Can you answer me that, Andrew? If I wasn’t responsible,
then why did God allow Kathleen to take me where she took me?” Her anger
was flaring out of control as the painful words rushed from her lips,
“You can’t answer those questions now, can you? Where is God now when
He could take all this pain from my heart? So, don’t you look at me and
try to tell me that I did nothing wrong because I’m the one who has to
deal with the consequences of this. Not you! I’m just your assignment!
That’s the reason you’re here and in the end none of it will matter
anyway!”
She drew in a sharp breath as he turned away from her to hide the pain
her words had caused him. She covered her mouth with her hands; longing
to take back the words that she knew had pierced his tender heart. What
was happening to her?
“Andrew,” She uttered, her voice trembling,
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it like that, honestly I
didn’t. It all came out wrong!” When he didn’t turn to face her, she
struggled to fight back the tears,
“Why is it all I can do is hurt people, Andrew?” She uttered painfully,
“You’re the last person on this earth I’d ever want to hurt and you’re
the one I keep hurting the most!”
“You never have been, nor will you ever be just my assignment.” Andrew
replied, still not turning back to her,
“You should know that.”
“I do know that, Andrew,” She replied desperately, taking a hesitant
step closer to him,
“I know that every time I hurt, that you do too, right along with me. I
was just angry at the situation, but not at you. Never at you.” She
watched as he slowly turned back to her, his eyes filled with tears and
his love for her and she wondered what she would ever do without him.
He opened his arms to her and she went to him, hugging him tightly,
trying memorize in her mind exactly how safe and cared for he made her
feel so she would never forget,
“Please forgive me?” She whispered.
“Monica, you don’t even have to ask,” He replied, kissing the top of her
head as his tears fell into her hair. He hesitated for a moment before
he pulled away from her enough to be able to look into her eyes,
“You know, all those questions that you were asking me? You know Who
you need to talk to about them.”
“I can’t yet, Andrew. I can’t go to the Father feeling this way. I’m
far too angry with Him and I know that’s wrong, but it’s how I feel. “
She moved to sit back down at the table.
He joined her, knowing that this was not the time to tell her that it
had been God who had brought her back from Kathleen’s clutches. With
her anger beginning to surface, he wasn’t sure it would be received well
by her, especially when she blamed Him for putting her there to begin
with.
He nodded his head in understanding,
“Just think about it, Monica. Talking to Him might make you feel a
whole lot better than you do right now.”
“I’ll be alright, Andrew,” She replied softly, lowering her eyes,
“It’s not like I don’t know how all of this is going to end, because I
do.”
His expression turn to one of bewilderment as he tried to meet her gaze,
“How is it going to end?” He asked, but she only shook her head sadly.
Monica knew if she told him what she believed that there would be no end
to her tears and she knew she needed to try to be strong in order to
survive losing he and Tess. She only knew that no angel had ever been
where she had been, or if one had, he or she was certainly not in heaven
to tell about it.
Chapter 12
“How are things here, Angel Boy?” Tess asked when she returned a few
hours later. She helped herself to a muffin and sat down with him at
the table,
“Where’s Monica?”
Andrew indicated towards the glass door and Tess looked to see her
friend curled up in one of the chaise lounges on the deck,
“We’ve had a bit of a rough morning, I’m afraid,” He replied, explaining
to her what had happened.
Tess listened, her forehead crinkled in concern as he finished,
“What does she mean about how this is going to end?”
He shook his head,
“She won’t tell me, Tess, but I have a feeling it’s a big piece of this
puzzle. It’s like there is something buried so deep inside of her, but
she won’t let me see what it is. She’s hurting so much and it’s driving
me crazy not knowing how to help her.”
“You’re doing fine, Andrew. You’ve got her talking and eventually, the
rest of it will come out. She’s struggling so much right now, that
eventually it has to, or it is going to consume her. She’s going
through a very human process of grieving right now, baby. The tears,
depression, the anger—that’s all part of it. Just keep her talking.
The more time she spends alone with her thoughts, the deeper she could
plunge into her grief. Somewhere, underneath all that pain, is our
Angel Girl,” Tess got up and walked over to the door and rapped her
knuckles on the glass. When Monica looked up, Tess indicated for her to
come inside.
“Hello, baby,” Tess smiled as Monica came into the house and moved to
hug her.
“Hi, Tess,” She replied softly, managing a smile,
“Where have you been?”
“Well, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about, Angel Girl. I went to
pay Stacey a visit at the hospital,” Tess watched as the color left
Monica’s face and she sank weakly into a chair.
“How is she?” Monica whispered, as Andrew stood up and moved behind her
to lay his hands on her shoulders.
“Well, the accident was a bad one, but I have it on the highest
authority that she will pull through. She wasn’t conscious, but I told
her who I was and that I was a friend of yours and that she would know
more later, once you were ready to go and see her.” Tess held her
breath, awaiting the angel’s reaction.
Monica was silent for several moments before she shook her head,
“I’m not going to see her, Tess. I’m not!”
“She needs to see you, baby and she needs for you to explain to her what
happened out there that morning,” Tess’ voice was firm as she held
Monica’s gaze.
“No! Stacey doesn’t need me! Stacey never needed me! She was much
better off before I was assigned to her! I won’t do it, Tess!” Angrily,
she got up from the table and ran back to her room, slamming the door
behind her.
Tess bowed her head, feeling heart-broken over her friend’s words,
“Well, I guess that was a mistake.” She remarked sadly.
“She isn’t ready yet, Tess,” Andrew soothed, moving to hug his friend,
“Right now, she doesn’t feel like she’s any good to anybody and unless
we can turn that around…” His voice trailed off, not wanting to complete
that thought.
“I was hoping I this could get her to care about something. To get her
to think about something else, but I guess I was wrong.” She sighed and
gasped Andrew’s hand, giving it a thankful squeeze,
“Go check on her, Angel Boy. Make sure she is alright.”
Monica had slammed her door and had flung herself on the bed, fighting
tears. How could she possibly help Stacey now? She hadn’t even helped
her to begin with; she had only given her more problems.
“Well, at least you are seeing things more clearly now,” Kathleen
remarked, appearing in the room with her.
“What do you want, Kathleen?” Monica replied wearily, in no mood for
this particular visitor.
“I just wanted to see how you were doing, that’s all. I know how hard
it must be for you to prepare to be in this world all alone without
Andrew and Tess. I’ve been worried about you.”
“Since when have you worried about anyone other than yourself,
Kathleen?” She countered, sitting up to look the dark angel in the eyes,
“You don’t need to worry about me. I’ll be fine.”
“Do you really believe that, Monica?” Kathleen looked sympathetic as she
sat down on the bed beside of the angel,
“I mean, they are your two best friends and I know how much you care
about them. It’s really a shame this had to happen at all. If you had
just listened to what you were asked to do, you’d probably be Home by
now.”
Monica’s eyes clouded with tears,
“Do you think I don’t know that? I certainly don’t need you to tell
me! Go away, Kathleen. There is enough wrong in my life without you
adding to it.”
“Suit yourself, Angel Girl,” Kathleen shrugged as she got up and
prepared to leave. She turned back to Monica once more, appearing
thoughtful,
“You know, there is one more alternative, I suppose. You could, lets
say, come with me?”
Monica’s eyes narrowed in anger as she stood to face the dark angel,
“That will never be an option for me, Kathleen, so you can just drop
that subject right now. “
“We’ll see,” Kathleen smiled and gave a wink,
“I’ll see you around.”
As soon as Kathleen was gone, there was a gentle knock on her door,
“Come in,” Monica sighed, hastily wiping tears from her eyes as she sat
back down on the edge of the bed.
“Hey there,” Andrew smiled as he opened the door and walked over to her,
“You okay?”
Monica looked at him hesitantly, longing to throw herself into his arms
and beg him not to ever leave her. But she couldn’t do that. She
couldn’t ask that of him, not ever. He had sacrificed so much for her
already and she could not ask that he give up who he was for her.
“Monica?” His concerned eyes searched hers as he waited for an answer.
“I’m fine,” She replied, her voice trembling a little, though she tried
to smile.
“Why don’t I believe that?” Andrew said softly as he knelt down in front
of her and took her hands into his,
“Monica, talk to me, please? I know that there are things you aren’t
telling me and I can’t help you with them unless I know what they are.”
He watched in desperation as her brown eyes brimmed with tears,
“Please, honey, tell me?”
She looked away for a moment, before bringing her eyes back to him,
“I…I can’t, Andrew. It’s too hard.”
“Maybe it won’t seem as hard if you share it with me,” He offered,
longing for her to open up to him.
“Oh, believe me, that would make it harder still,” She uttered, letting
go of his hand long enough to swipe at a tear as it fell. She attempted
a smile,
“Please, don’t ask me anymore questions right now that I can’t answer.”
Andrew sighed softly as he squeezed her hands tightly,
“You know how much I love you, right? There are no questions in your
mind about that, are there?”
“Never,” She whispered, squeezing his hands back in return. She felt
her heart begin to crumble as she hoped that knowledge would see her
through her future, whatever it may be. She wondered if he and Tess
would watch over her the way she had watched over so many other humans.
She thought about her two dearest friends and knew she had to find a way
to be strong enough for all of them. If she couldn’t, then she was sure
the pain of losing them would surely kill her,
“Andrew, if it’s alright with you, could you maybe just hold me for
awhile?” A single tear escaped her eye,
“I could just really use that right now.”
“You don’t even have to ask,” He replied, his voice choked as he took
her into his arms and held her tightly, afraid that if he let go, she
would disappear forever.
Chapter 13
A week later, Andrew was convinced he was in the middle of a bad dream.
The transformation that Monica had undergone had both he and Tess
terrified as they watched her retreat further and further into herself.
The lines of communication had seemingly come to a halt overnight as she
refused to discuss anything that had happened with either one of them.
She rarely ate and was obviously having trouble sleeping. Her gentle
face was now gaunt and her eyes, reddened by tears and lack of sleep had
dark circles under them and they seemed to look at Tess and Andrew with
more sorrow than either of them had ever seen before in one person. It
was as if she were wasting away from them, both physically and
spiritually and what started with her friends as worry quickly turned
into fear.
They tried talking to her, but she would only insist that she was fine,
though everything else about her said otherwise. Whatever the burden
was that she was carrying, she was determined to do it alone, much to
the dismay of her friends. Andrew spent hours praying to the Father for
guidance, as did Tess, but things only seemed to get worse.
“I don’t think I can take much more of this, Angel Boy,” Tess remarked
softly to Andrew as she glanced into the living room where Monica was
curled up in the recliner, gazing at the fire that Andrew had started in
the fireplace,
“I’m starting to think we’ve let this go on long enough and it’s time
that baby gave us some answers before she disappears before our eyes.”
“What are you thinking, Tess?” He asked, worriedly. He knew he could
hardly bear for this to go on another minute, but on the other hand, he
was very protective of Monica right now, more so than usual and he knew
Tess’ temper all too well. He knew it was fueled by her fear and
concern for their friend, but he still worried about the impact it would
have on Monica.
“Well, Angel Boy, the way I see it, is that I’ve asked for answers and
Monica won’t give them. Now, I think it’s time to stop asking and start
telling. Whatever is inside of her is destroying her and if it doesn’t
come out…” Her voice trailed off, unwilling to voice the alternative.
Before Andrew could say another word, Tess was in the living room and
standing in front of Monica, her arms crossed in front of her and her ‘I
want answers’ expression on her mahogany face.
Monica opened her eyes and shrank back a little. She had seen that look
in her supervisor’s eyes before and it usually wasn’t good,
“Tess..”
“Don’t you ‘Tess’ me, Angel Girl,” She replied, looking directly into
her friends exhausted eyes,
“I want to know what is going on and I want to know now.”
“I..don’t know what you mean.” Monica faltered, trying to avoid that
knowing stare.
“Don’t you give me that. You know full well what I’m talking about and
I think it’s time you did some talking.”
“Monica,” Andrew intervened gently,
“We’re really worried about you.”
“Out with it, Miss Wings,” Tess demanded.
Monica’s heart began to beat loudly in her chest as she looked from Tess
to Andrew and back again. To say the words, would make it real, instead
of just being a thought in her mind. She didn’t feel strong enough to
be able to tell them the truth without losing herself to the greatest
pain she had ever known,
“Tess, please-.”
But Tess would have none of it,
“Baby, I have nowhere to go and I can stand here all day until the truth
be told. I love you too much to let this go on the way it has been and
if you think you are helping us, then you are sadly mistaken. Now, for
the last time, what is going on?”
Tears began to fill Monica’s eyes as she quickly got up and tried to go
around Tess, but her supervisor grabbed hold of her arm and pulled her
around to face her once more. Monica looked at her pleadingly, before
turning her sorrowful eyes to Andrew.
That look went straight to Andrew’s heart,
“Tess, c’mon-.”
“Hush, Angel Boy,” Tess retorted, never taking her eyes off of Monica,
“What is it, Monica? What is it that has you so afraid? Don’t tell me
‘nothing’ either because we both know better than that. You’re dying
inside and I cannot stand to watch it a minute longer. Why can’t you
understand that because we love you so much, we can’t watch you do this
to yourself any longer?”
Monica lowered her head as she began to cry,
“It isn’t enough.” She uttered, feeling trapped,
“Loving me won’t change what happens in the end…”
Tess reached out and placed her hand under her friend’s chin to raise
her eyes back to hers. What Tess saw in those tear-filled brown eyes,
nearly broke her heart as she felt her own eyes well up as well at her
friend’s pain,
“Tell us, baby,” She whispered gently.
Monica heard the change in Tess’ voice and the walls she had built up to
protect herself began to come crashing down. She saw the tears in Tess’
eyes and the ones falling from Andrews’ and the words she had kept
bottled up inside for so long finally were able to be said,
“I can’t bear the thought of losing you both!” She sobbed,
heart-brokenly,
“I know that after where I’ve been and what I’ve done, I can’t go
Home…God doesn’t want me now and you and Andrew can’t stay with me
forever! I know that, but I don’t think I can stand the thought of
never seeing you both again!”
Andrew’s head reared back as he heard her words. How could she have
carried the burden of that belief alone for so long?
“Is that what you think?” He asked hoarsely, everything now beginning to
make sense. Why hadn’t he seen it sooner?
He watched as Monica’s legs gave out from under her and he moved quickly
to help Tess catch her and get her over to the sofa. They sat on either
side of her as she cried as though her heart would break, leaning
against Tess.
Tess wrapped her arms around her tightly, tears racing down her cheeks,
“Oh sweetheart, you are so wrong about this.” She said softly, rocking
her friend soothingly,
“Do you really believe that God is going to leave you behind?”
“I..I chose to go with Kathleen-.” She wept, holding onto Tess
desperately.
“No, Monica,” Andrew whispered, his hand moving to rub her back,
“You chose to save Stacey. That’s a big difference.”
“That’s right,” Tess replied warmly, her rich voice calm and soothing,
“And the Father had never been more proud of one of His angels. I’m
gonna let you in on a little secret, baby. That horrible day, when
Kathleen took you to that dark place, who do you think brought you
back?”
Monica was crying too hard to answer, but she managed to shake her head,
hanging on for dear life to every word Tess was saying.
“It was the Father, baby,” Tess whispered with a gentle smile,
“He knew it wasn’t your decision to be there. You just wanted to help a
scared young lady and He knew that. Now, it’s time that you knew that
too.”
“It was never God’s plan to leave you behind, Monica,” Andrew continued,
“He brought me to you so that I could bring you here. He wanted Tess
and I to be with you in order to help you get better. He knew what you
had been through and He was afraid for you and He knows how much Tess
and I love you. He knew we would do everything in our power to bring
you back to us.”
“But I’m still human!” She sobbed weakly, trying to absorb everything
that they were telling her,
“If I’m human, I can’t go Home and if I can’t go Home, then I can’t be
with you both!”
“Angel Girl,” Tess pulled away so she could look into Monica’s
tear-filled eyes,
“The most important thing you’ve lost in all of this was your trust in
God. You know He is in control, even when it doesn’t feel like He is.
You’ve told so many people that message, Monica. How could you forget
it yourself?”
“Kathleen,” Monica uttered, lowering her eyes in shame,
“She told me that God would never want an angel who had been where I had
been. I..I felt so…unclean after this happened that I believed her.”
“Kathleen?” Andrew tried to keep the anger from his voice,
“When was she here?”
“She’s been here a lot lately,” Monica said softly, trying to bring her
tears under control.
“Why didn’t you tell us, baby?” Tess asked, her own eyes holding a touch
of anger for the dark angel who had caused her friend so much pain.
She shook her head helplessly, not knowing the answer herself,
“Maybe I thought she was part of my punishment for what I had done and
she was only one who knew how afraid I was of losing you both.”
“You figured you didn’t deserve any better.” Andrew concluded,
remembering things Monica had said to him.
She nodded her head sadly,
“All I could think about was waking up one morning and finding you both
gone,” She whispered, her voice trembling,
“And the only thing that kept me going was the thought that at the end
of my life as a human, that maybe you would be there waiting for me,
Andrew…to take me Home.”
Tears spilled onto Andrew’s cheeks at her words as he pulled her into
his arms and cried with her,
“That is never going to happen, honey. When you go Home, it will be
with Tess and I, as the angel that you are. I’m so sorry that this
happened to you, that you thought we would ever leave you. And I’m
sorry for my part in all of this, back when it started and for leaving
you that night in Stacey’s dorm room. I’ve learned that a minute, is
all it takes for a life to change completely. I’m just so glad that so
often, God gives us another chance to make it right again.”
Monica held him tightly as for the first time in such a long time, she
believed that all would be right again,
“I love you, Andrew and you too, Tess. You both are so near and dear to
my heart and that is why it hurt so much to imagine being without you
both. I think that two of the most important parts of me would go with
you because you are both so much a part of who I am.”
Tess smiled as she reached over to lay her hand on Monica’s cheek, and
her eyes, so full of love, looked up towards the heavens,
“I know your work here is not yet complete, Father, but now, let the
healing begin.”
Chapter 14
A week later, Tess sat on the deck and lazily watched as Andrew and
Monica threw a Frisbee back and forth to each other down on the beach.
Her two charges were laughing and teasing each other as they played and
Tess had to smile as she offered up prayers of thanks.
Her prayers had been answered as during the last few days, the healing
had indeed begun. Slowly, Monica had been getting her strength back.
She had eaten the night she had finally confessed her fears to them,
before she had fallen into an exhausted sleep, her mind and heart
finally free of her fear of them leaving her. Andrew had stayed near
her all night in the event that Kathleen would have the gall to show up,
but she hadn’t and the next morning, Monica had begun to emerge from
under the dark veil she had been living under.
There had still been some occasional nightmares after that night, one
bad enough that she had slipped into Andrew’s room, trembling and
tearful. Tess had heard them talking and had joined them and she and
Andrew had listened as the human angel had poured out the dream to
them. The lines of communication had finally been opened for her and
now that she realized how badly she needed their help to heal, she kept
nothing inside that had to do with that horrible night. She gladly
accepted the comfort and strength her friends had to offer as that
night, she had gone through every detail of the torment Kathleen had put
her through, before falling back to sleep, wrapped in the safety of
Andrew’s arms.
Since that nightmare, there hadn’t been anymore as they had watched
their friend grow stronger. The pain and sorrow were slowly leaving her
eyes and in its place was peace. Monica often woke early and went for
walks on the beach, perhaps trying to work out her feelings with God,
and she always returned smiling and rejoicing in the all the beauty that
had surrounded her. Tess had gotten up late one morning and had found
both she and Andrew out on the deck, with Monica pointing excitedly to a
school of dolphins that played in the surf. Tess had laughed out loud,
realizing by Andrew’s tousled hair and groggy expression that her Angel
Girl had, in her excitement, woken him up to share in her discovery. He
never minded though and he stood behind her, his arms wrapped around her
as they had watched the fascinating creatures play. Tess had joined
them and the three of them together marveled in the beauty of God’s
creation.
Tess worried a little about her Angel Boy as she had a feeling he was
harboring a lot of anger at Kathleen deep in his heart. He knew now
that the night he had found Monica bleeding, that Kathleen had done
that, as well as instilled in her the fears of abandonment. He was
keeping the anger hidden as best as he could, but Tess knew it existed
and continued to pray for him to be able to release it. She knew, being
older and wiser, that nothing good would ever come of carrying hate and
anger in their hearts, and she knew Andrew knew that too. However, he
and Monica, though they had always been close, had grown even closer
through this whole ordeal and his fierce protectiveness of her was
unfaltering. Anytime Monica even spoke Kathleen’s name, Tess would see
for an instant, Andrew’s eyes darken before he would turn his head away
from them, lest he reveal too much. She remembered the afternoon he had
brought Monica here, wounded and unconscious, and she would never forget
his face that day. There had been such grief and pain emulating from
him and somehow, Tess knew that day was often on his mind as well.
Today, however, there was no evidence that either of her two charges had
a care in the world as they played down on the shore. The Indian summer
day was hot, though the gentle breeze off the ocean made it quite
pleasant. Tess smiled, watching as Monica mischievously threw the
Frisbee high over Andrew’s head, and then laughed at his failed attempt
to catch it. He then charged at Monica and gave out a startled cry as
she ran from him, but she was not quick enough. Gently, he tackled her
down in the sand and relentlessly tickled her.
Monica laughed hysterically as she tried to get away from him but could
not,
“I give up! Andrew, please!”
Andrew grinned widely, taking great joy at the laughter that rang out
from her; a sound he had missed hearing over the last few weeks. He
stopped tickling her and she sat up, still laughing and trying to catch
her breath,
“Thirsty?” He asked, standing up and extending his hand to help her to
her feet. Seeing her nod her head, he dusted himself off,
“How ‘bout I go fix us all some lemonade?”
“That sounds wonderful,” Monica replied, brushing the sand from herself
as well as he turned at started back to the house.
“Coming?” He asked, turning back to her briefly.
“In a minute,” She replied, watching as his eyes flickered worriedly for
a second,
“It’s okay, Andrew. There’s something I need to do first.”
Reassured, he nodded his head and ran back up to the house, spoke
briefly to Tess and then went inside.
Monica walked a little further down the beach before stopping and gazing
up at the sky for a moment. She then knelt in the sand, thinking about
what it was she needed to say before beginning,
“Father, thank you for this day and for giving me such wonderful friends
to share it with. I know I haven’t spoken to You in awhile and I know
that You know why. I was angry over what had happened to me and what I
was afraid could happen. I know that when we allow fear to lead us that
we listen to things we shouldn’t listen to; like I did with Kathleen. I
was too busy listening to her that I couldn’t hear You speaking to me
and I know that I’ve listened to her on many occasions since this all
started. I know now that You never abandoned me, but rather, I
abandoned You. I know now that You were beside me the entire time when
Kathleen took me and that You were even trying to give me hope when I
heard Tess singing and saw Andrew in my mind. But I misconstrued those
things into something bad instead of seeing them for what they
were—signs of Your love.
Father, please forgive me, your angel, for doubting that you are still
at work even in the darkest hour, even in the most painful moments.
Forgive me for forgetting that Your love is perfect and that even though
we are not, that You are always there. Thank You for your healing and
for letting me experience it as a human might. It has given me such
understanding. I only want to please you, Father; to do Your will
instead of my own.”
Monica bowed her head as she felt God’s love flow through her like a
warm light and when she lifted her head back to the heavens, her face
shone with pure joy.
Andrew came back outside, carrying a tray with a pitcher of lemonade and
three glasses.
“Take a look, baby,” Tess said softly, as he set the tray down on the
table.
Andrew looked out on the beach, tears filling his eyes as he saw the
soft light of God’s love radiating from his friend,
“Tess, is she--.”
“Yes, baby,” Tess smiled as she stood and wrapped her arm around him,
“Our Angel Girl has found her wings again.”
Together they walked down to the beach and as they got closer, Monica
rose to her feet and turned towards them, her tear-streaked face filled
with love and joy. Andrew ran to her and caught her up in his arms,
spinning her around as she hugged him tightly. He set her down as Tess
caught up to them and she then wrapped her arms around Tess,
“Thank you both,” She whispered as she pulled away from Tess,
“For everything you’ve done to get me to this moment.”
“Its been our pleasure, baby,” Tess replied as she took each of their
hands and together they offered up prayers of thanks to the Father.
Chapter 15
“Dear Andrew and Tess,
I had a very important errand to run. Please don’t worry, I’m not
looking for any trouble, there was just something that I had to take
care of. I’ll be back in an hour or so.
Love you both,
Monica”
Andrew clutched the note he had found upon waking as fear flooded
through him. Where had Monica gone and why hadn’t she told them? He
would have gone with her to ensure her safety,
“Heaven help me, Kathleen,” He muttered aloud to himself,
“If you lay one hand on her, I’ll--.”
“Angel Boy?” Tess interrupted his thoughts as she walked out to the
kitchen where he stood. She took the note he handed her and nodded her
head as she read. When she had finished, she cast a glance at Andrew
and sighed softly. She could tell by his expression that he was upset,
“You’ve got to let go of this anger at Kathleen, Andrew.” Her voice was
gentle but firm as she tried to meet his eyes.
Andrew was quiet for a moment before he turned to look at her,
“I can’t, Tess,” He replied, his voice holding a tinge of fury at the
very thought of the dark angel,
“She went too far this time and I cannot and will not forgive her for
it.” Without another word, he was out the door, headed for the beach.
Tess sighed in frustration as she shook her head,
“Lord, give me strength and teach me patience, and wherever my Angel
Girl went this morning, keep an eye on her for us. I know you always
do, but I always feel better for asking.”………
…………..Monica walked down the hospital corridor, looking for Stacey’s
room number. She had woken up this morning, anxious to complete her
assignment, knowing that Stacey had waited long enough.
As she approached her room, she peered inside, delighted to see the
young girl sitting up in bed, staring out the window. Monica knocked
softly before opening the door and stepping inside,
“Stacey?”
Stacey’s eyes widened in surprise as she saw the familiar face,
“Monica! I didn’t think I would ever see you again.”
Monica walked over to the bed and pulled up a chair. Sitting down, she
reached for Stacey’s hand and squeezed it tightly,
“You should have known better. An angel never forgets her assignments.”
Seeing Stacey smile in wonderment, Monica turned more serious,
“I’m sorry about that morning at the rest stop. I never meant for you
to get hurt. I only wanted to protect you from Kathleen, but something
terrible happened to you anyway. I’m so sorry, Stacey.”
“Monica, it’s okay. This wasn’t your fault. I was driving far too fast
and when that storm started, I was having trouble seeing the road and I
ran into the guardrail. But I’m fine, really. I’ve been more worried
about you. I think a friend of yours was here a week or so ago, but I’m
not sure if I dreamt it or not,” Her eyes flickered with confusion as
she tried to remember.
“Tess.” Monica said with a smile,
“Yes, she is a friend of mine and came here to check on you for me as at
the time, I wasn’t well enough to do it.” Seeing the concern in
Stacey’s eyes, Monica sighed softly,
“You see, Kathleen took me instead of you, to someplace very dark where
no person should ever have to go. The road back to this moment was long
and difficult for me, but I had two wonderful friends who helped me to
get here.”
”I haven’t heard from Kathleen since that night,” Stacey said softly,
“You did save me from her, Monica and I’ll always be grateful for that.
I don’t know if you’re a real angel or not, but you certainly have been
a good friend to me. The best friend I’ve had in a long time.”
Monica smiled as she leaned forward, looking into Stacey’s eyes, her own
filled with God’s love,
“Stacey, there is Someone else who would love to be your friend, if only
you’ll let him in.”
Stacey gasped as a warm glow surrounded Monica,
“Oh my gosh, you really are an angel!”
“Yes, I am. I was sent here with a message for you, Stacey, from God.
That’s what I was meant to do all along, but things got crazy for
awhile. He sent me here to tell you that He loves you so much and He
knows how lonely you’ve been.”
Tears filled Stacey’s eyes as she listened to the words and clutched
Monica’s hand tightly,
“Nobody ever really takes notice of me, Monica, so I didn’t expect God
to.”
“Oh Stacey, you are so wrong. You are one of His children and He knows
what a beautiful person you are. He has always been there for you, all
you’ve needed to do is to reach out to Him. In doing that, you’ll reach
out to others as well and before you know it, your life won’t be lonely
anymore because God always provides for His children. It doesn’t matter
how dark a life may be; with Him there is always light.” Monica smiled
as she saw the tears racing down Stacey’s cheeks.
“He loves me?” She whispered.
“More than you could ever imagine,” Monica replied warmly,
“Won’t you reach out to Him, Stacey? He will always listen to the fears
of your heart and He will heal them for you, if you let Him.”
Stacey nodded her head, unable to speak for a moment,
“I do want that and maybe somewhere, deep inside, I’ve always known it,
but was afraid that He would reject me too.”
“He never will and He has just been waiting patiently for you to let Him
be there for you.” Monica stood up and moved to wrap her arms around
Stacey as the girl wept for a moment.
“Will I ever see you again?” She managed to say.
“Probably not,” Monica replied gently, her hand smoothing the hair back
from Stacey’s face as she pulled away,
“But you are going to be fine now and your life will be full if you
share it with Him.”
“I will,” She whispered, watching as Monica stood up straight and she
knew it was time for her to go,
“Thank you for everything.”
“Don’t thank me. Thank Him.”
Stacey blinked and when she looked back, the angel was gone. Smiling
softly to herself, she raised her eyes toward heaven and whispered,
“Thank you.”
Chapter 16
“Just where have you been, Miss Wings?” Tess asked sternly as Monica
closed the front door behind her. Tess couldn’t help but notice the
happy glow that was radiating from her friend and she tried to hide a
smile.
Monica smiled as she walked over to where Tess stood awaiting her
answer,
“I went to complete my assignment,” She replied before hugging her
friend,
“Oh Tess, it felt so wonderful to be able to finally complete what I was
here to do and Stacey is going to be just fine!”
Tess smiled as she returned the hug,
“I’m glad to hear that, baby. I had a feeling that was where you were,
but I wasn’t sure.”
“Where’s Andrew?” Monica asked, realizing he was not nearby.
Tess sighed softly as she pointed towards the glass door, her eyes sadly
focused on her Angel Boy.
Monica walked up to the door and gazed outside, seeing Andrew standing
down by the water’s edge, his head bowed and his hands in his pockets.
She noticed how his shoulders sagged as though he were terribly upset by
something. She turned inquisitive eyes back to Tess,
“Is he alright?” Her Irish brogue was heavy with deep concern for her
beloved friend and angel as she looked back outside.
“Well, baby, not really,” Tess walked up behind Monica and laid her
hands on her charge’s shoulders,
“You went through a terrible ordeal, Monica—one that we weren’t at all
sure you would recover from. From the moment you were brought here,
Andrew was beside you almost every minute. It took an emotional toll on
him, baby and he’s also now carrying a lot of anger and hate in his
heart for Kathleen. I’ve tried to talk to him, but he won’t have any of
it. He’s hurting right now and trying to cope with having nearly lost
you, and I can’t reach him.”
Without a second thought, Monica reached for the knob and opened the
door, softly shutting it on her way out. She walked down to the water’s
edge, the ocean breeze blowing through her hair,
“Andrew?” She said softly as she approached him.
He didn’t turn to face her, as his green eyes gazed out over the ocean,
“Where’d you go?” He asked her, his voice tight.
“To see Stacey,” She replied gently, her eyes fixed on him,
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I wanted to do this alone—for some
reason, doing this alone was important to me, but I never meant to upset
you.”
Andrew sighed softly, though he still didn’t look at her,
“It shouldn’t have upset me, Monica. I guess I’m just still worrying
about you, though I guess that is no longer warranted.”
For some reason, she felt deeply wounded by his words and tone of
voice. She knew he was hurting though and she was determined to get him
to open up to her,
“I wanted to thank you, for everything you’ve done for me over the last
few weeks. I know it couldn’t have been easy for you, but I couldn’t
have gotten through it without you and I’m glad I didn’t have to.”
Andrew closed his eyes, hearing her words and remembering just how hard
the last few weeks had been. He felt tears well up in his eyes as he
remembered finding her, unconscious, soaking wet and on the brink of
death. Though he knew she was fine now, he couldn’t seem to get the
images out of his mind and heart,
“I thought we were going to lose you,” He said softly, his voice losing
its cool edge,
“And I, for one, didn’t think I’d be able deal with that.”
“I can imagine how you felt,” Monica said gently as she slipped both
her arms around one of his,
“Much like how I felt thinking you and Tess were going to leave me. The
thought of it was unbearable and I didn’t handle it very well, until you
both made me realize that I couldn’t keep the pain inside of me
forever. I was convinced that admitting how deeply afraid I was would
cause me to go to pieces, and it did, but you and Tess where there to
pick up those pieces for me. Just like I’m here for you now.”
He heard her gentle words and felt the warmth of her arms around his and
soft feeling of her head resting against his shoulder. Oh, how he loved
her! He felt tears threaten his eyes once more and he looked up at the
sky and let out a deep breath, trying to keep his emotions intact.
Without a sound and to fulfill a need within himself, Andrew pulled her
into his arms and held onto her as tightly as he dared. He felt her
arms circle around his waist and he nuzzled his face into her soft
auburn hair. They stood like that in silence for several moments,
before he pulled away and took her hand into his,
“Lets take a walk.” He uttered, his voice catching in his throat.
Monica clutched his hand tightly as they walked together down the
beach. Her heart was racing with worry and she desperately wished he
would talk to her. She was just opening her mouth to fill the air with
something besides silence, when Andrew finally spoke.
“I guess I’m still feeling a little rattled by everything that has
happened,” He began softly,
“I was afraid we were going to lose you. Not to death, but as an
angel. Sam was worried that you wouldn’t recover from what you had been
through and if that had been the case, then God would have provided for
you and I knew that. I just couldn’t imagine not working with you day
after day and I started to really realize how important you are to me
and how deeply I would miss you. It was horrible, watching you go
through this whole thing—the nightmares, the pain that was always in
your eyes, and Monica, what I wanted more than anything was to be able
to switch places with you. I would gladly have gone through what you
did, then to watch you suffer a minute longer. You didn’t deserve any
of this and the hardest thing I’d ever done was watch you go through
it.” His voice trailed off for a moment as he struggled with his
emotions momentarily,
“I know it’s wrong, but I cannot forgive, nor will I ever forget what
Kathleen did to you this time. She went too far, Monica, not that she
hasn’t before, but this time was the last straw. “
Monica stopped walking and pulled him to face her. Her cheeks were
streaked with tears and her eyes were filled with her concern and love
for him,
“Andrew, you have to let go of that anger.”
“Monica, don’t you see? I’m telling you that I can’t. I’ve tried, but
as each day went by and I saw and heard all of the things she had done
this time…..I can’t forgive her.” He looked at her, tears of sorrow in
his eyes,
“She was someone you loved once; your best friend. How could she do
what she did to you with no remorse? The fact that she was once someone
you trusted makes me even angrier with her. “
“She can do these things without remorse because she is not of God,
Andrew and you know that. Your anger is exactly what she wants! Don’t
you see that? Anger and hate drive us further away from God,” Monica’s
voice was desperate as she pleaded with him to understand,
“Don’t you see that I love you too much to let this destroy you?”
“You don’t know what it was like, Monica! Watching you suffer each day
from things she had done! Wondering if you were ever going to come back
to us! So don’t you see that I love you too much to just wait around
for her to attack you again?” He closed his eyes as she began to cry,
hating the pain he was causing her, but unable to hide his feelings any
longer.
“But I’m fine, Andrew!” She sobbed, searching for a way to convince him
that he was wrong to feel this way. She had never been more afraid for
someone in her existence as she was for Andrew right this moment,
“I’m fine!”
Shaking, his hands reached up to cup her face,
“And I’m going to make sure you stay that way.”
“No!” She screamed, backing up from him,
“Not like this! I want your love and I want your protection but not
like this! It isn’t worth throwing everything away! Andrew, this will
destroy you, if you let it! If you love me like you say you do, then
you will forget about this! You will talk to God and ask Him to help
you get rid of the hatred that is in your heart and you will forgive
Kathleen!”
Andrew looked at her sadly, hating himself for making her cry. He shook
his head sadly,
“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” He whispered, his words coming out in a sob,
“But that just isn’t in me right now.” He watched as she bowed her head
as she continued to cry. Approaching her carefully, he pulled her close
for a moment and kissed the top of her head, before releasing her and
walking away.
Monica looked up through tear-filled eyes as he walked away and then
vanished,
“Andrew!” She sobbed, before falling to her knees in the sand. She
covered her face with her hands; feeling like her heart was broken as
she prayed for the safety of her beloved Angel of Death.
Chapter 17
Two days later, Tess sadly gazed out the window, watching Monica as she
leaned over the rail, her eyes searching the horizon. Tess knew her
Angel Girl was hoping to see a familiar blond head coming up the beach,
as Monica had spent most of the last two days out there. She had barely
uttered a sound once she had told Tess what had occurred out on the
beach that day she had gone to talk to Andrew and Tess knew that
Monica’s heart was broken, much like her own.
She knew it was more than that for Monica though. Tess had watched over
the past few weeks as Monica’s relationship with Andrew had deepened.
The two younger angels had always shared a special bond once the ice had
been broken between them. A sad smile crossed her lips, remembering
Monica’s jealousy of the blond Angel of Death the first time that they
had shared an assignment. But since that time, she had watched a
friendship form and blossom, like the most beautiful flower Tess had
ever seen. She had taken great joy in watching them work together and
even when the two occasionally butted heads, the anger never lasted very
long. Usually it was Monica’s temper, as Irish as her voice, that would
rage, but Andrew, always gentle and kind would soon get the better of
her and then Monica would throw herself in his arms, repenting for her
angry words directed at one she loved so much.
Once Monica’s spirit had started to heal from her experiences with
Kathleen, Tess had seen protectiveness from Andrew that she had never
seen before. He seemed to keep an eye on Monica at all times, as though
he were afraid that if he looked away even for a moment, that she would
be gone. That was part of the reason that Tess had been so shocked to
hear that he had gone. Her grieving heart knew that her Angel Boy had
gone to try to avenge the crimes that Kathleen had committed and she
also knew that doing that could be his downfall.
Tess felt unbearably guilty for not realizing Andrew’s pain over all
that had happened before it had been too late. She had been so worried
about Monica, and Andrew always seemed stable and able to hold his own.
But now that he was gone, Tess realized just how deeply he had been
shaken by this whole experience. He often wore his heart on his sleeve
but this time he had tried to keep the angry feelings to himself, maybe
afraid of what would happen to him if he unleashed them. Tess only knew
that her Angel Boy’s tender heart had been deeply wounded by the pain
that Kathleen had put Monica through.
Sighing softly, Tess opened the door and walked out onto the deck where
Monica stood. The sea breeze blew through the younger angel’s auburn
hair and her eyes held a wounded sorrow. Tess leaned on the railing
beside her friend and Monica attempted a half-hearted smile,
“Talk to me, baby,” Tess urged, trying to meet Monica’s gaze,
“You haven’t uttered a word to me in two days.”
The younger angel was quiet for a moment, unsure of exactly what to
say. What was there to say? One of her two best friends had gone away
and she had no idea when and if he would return. On top of that, Andrew
was headed for trouble, wherever he was and that was her greatest
sorrow. There had been no word from the Father as to where he was or
what she and Tess were supposed to do, and the just staying here doing
nothing was driving her crazy,
“I’m sorry, Tess,” She said softly, her dark eyes never leaving the
beach below her,
“I just haven’t felt like talking, I guess.”
Tess nodded her head in understanding, knowing the pain her friend was
going through. She had stood outside Monica’s door the last two nights,
listening to her crying herself to sleep. She had wanted to go to her,
but knew that nothing she could say could take away her sorrow.
Monica’s biggest fear had been realized, at least in part—Andrew had
left her,
“He gave no indication of where he was going?” Tess asked, already
knowing the answer. She had asked that question when Andrew had first
left and Monica had not known.
Monica shook her head sadly,
“None whatsoever, Tess. “ Her voice was a whisper as she felt tears
forming in her eyes,
“I miss him so much, Tess,” She managed to say, her voice catching in a
sob.
Tess wrapped her arms around her charge and held her tightly,
“I know, baby. I miss him too. It just isn’t the same around here
without him.”
Monica wept softly for a minute before raising her head,
“Can’t we go and look for him, Tess? I’m so afraid for him.”
“I’m sorry, Monica, but that will not be possible,” Sam’s voice caused
both angels to whirl around, startled.
“Sam,” Tess breathed a sigh of relief,
“Are we ever glad to see you!”
“Why is it not possible for us to look for him, Sam?” Monica asked, her
voice holding a touch of anger.
“Because you are both being reassigned. Now that Monica is feeling
better, it’s time to go back to work,” Sam’s voice was gentle as he said
the words that he knew were going to upset his two friends.
“But Andrew—“
“I know all about what happened with Andrew,” Sam interrupted Monica,
“But he made a choice and all we can do is pray that he finds his way
back to God.”
“So we just give up on him, Sam? Is that what you’re saying?” Monica
lashed out boldly, her anger and frustration coming to a head.
“Angel Girl,” Tess said softly, trying to calm her friend.
“No, Tess! He’s asking something of me that I can’t do. For the last
few weeks, Andrew has been by my side, helping me to get better. I
couldn’t have gotten through this without the two of you. But now, Sam
is saying that Andrew has to fight his battle alone and that’s not
fair! Andrew’s doing this out of love for me, even if it is misguided.
He isn’t thinking clearly after all we’ve been through and he needs us
now before he gets into trouble!” Monica turned pleading eyes to Tess,
then Sam.
Sam’s expression had turned more stern, not really accustomed to having
angels argue with him, especially an angel as young as Monica,
“Monica, I understand how you feel about Andrew and he was essential to
your healing, but there is still God’s work to be done. There are
humans out there that need you right now. Do you expect them to suffer
because an angel has chosen a path that he should not have?”
“Of course not, Sam. But there are plenty of other angels out there who
can cover this assignment, whatever it is. Andrew needs help too and I
cannot believe that you are suggesting that we ignore that fact!”
Monica’s expression was determined, even though she felt a little shaky
at what she was saying to an angel of Sam’s status.
“What are you saying, Monica?” Sam asked, his eyes and expression
uncompromising.
Monica felt Tess’ hand on her shoulder, as if she were trying to hold
her back from saying what she was going to say. Her heart was racing,
unsure of what to do for a moment, but then her mind filled with images
of Andrew. Memories of him holding her as she had cried, of her falling
asleep in front of the fire, her head resting in his lap, seeing the joy
on his face the day they had played on the beach and finally, the
tormented look in his eyes two days ago when he had walked away from
her.
Yes, a part of her was angry with him for walking away, for following
the anger that he held inside. But so much stronger than her anger was
the deep love she felt for the Angel of Death. She knew he was angry
and hurting and alone, which also made him an easy target for evil and
if Kathleen was nothing else, she was pure evil.
Her eyes met Sam’s once again, even as they filled with tears,
“I’m sorry, Sam, but I have to find him. I’m refusing this assignment.”
“Monica!” Tess reprimanded softly,
“Need I remind you that we take our orders from the Almighty?”
Monica turned to face her friend and supervisor,
“I know that, Tess, but I know this is the right thing to do. Andrew is
out there alone and who knows what Kathleen could do to him. There is
strength in numbers, Tess.”
“There is strength in God,” Tess replied sternly.
“Yes, there is and we spend a lot of our time teaching humans about God
and about how to be there for each other and how to help each other.
But don’t you see? That truth needs to start with God, with us. Andrew
needs help seeing the truth right now, Tess and someone has to show it
to him before it is too late,” She drew in a deep breath, her own words
calming her and bringing her courage. Somewhere, deep in her heart, she
knew this was the right thing to do,
“I’m sorry, but Andrew needs me, even more than this assignment does.”
Hesitantly, she threw her arms around Tess, hugging her tightly,
“I love you, Tess.” She then turned to face Sam,
“I’m sorry.” She said softly, though there was no regret in her brown
eyes. Glancing at Tess once more, she then turned and as Andrew had
done two days before, walked away and vanished further down the beach.
Sam looked at Tess sternly,
“I cannot believe that you, as a supervisor, don’t have more control
over her.”
Tess was quiet for a moment, her eyes meeting his before she spoke and
though her words were quiet, it would have been impossible to not hear
the pride in her tone,
“Well, Sam, to be honest, I’m not convinced that Monica is wrong.”
End of Part II
