Monica looked up from where she sat in the living room of the beach house when she heard the front door open. She had been sent here to wait, so she had spent the time waiting with a book, in the hopes that Andrew would soon be joining her. Usually when she was sent here to wait, that was what would happen and she had been looking forward to this moment for close to three hours.
“Andrew,” the little angel immediately rose to her feet, a smile on her pretty face, but it only took her a heartbeat to know that something was terribly wrong with her beloved angel, “Andrew? What is it?”
The blond angel forced a small smile that didn’t even come close to reaching his eyes, “Hi, Monica.”
“Hi,” She replied softly, the concern she was feeling for him evident in her dark eyes, “I’ve been waiting for you.”
“I know. I’m sorry,” His tone was short and he cursed himself silently as she flinched. None of this was her fault any more than it was his fault, but he was still just so angry he could hardly control it.
Monica swallowed hard and reached out her hand, “Something happened. Please, tell me.”
But he shook his head, “It’s not important.”
Confusion flooded her Gaelic features as she looked at him, “Not important? If it has you upset, Andrew, then it is very important. I want to help-.”
“Well, you can’t this time, okay? It’s nothing I want to talk about,” He hated himself for the tone he was taking with her, but his last assignment, combined with Tess’ lousy mood had done little for his disposition right now.
“But Andrew-.”
“Monica! I said I don’t want to talk about it. Sometimes, Angel, you just have to learn to back off!”
The little angel shrank back as if he had struck her and her eyes immediately were downcast, “You’re right. I’m…I’m sorry,” Feeling the presence of tears and not wanting to make him feel worse by seeing her cry, she murmured, “I’m going for a walk.”
As she all but ran out the door, Andrew lowered his head in shame. What was the matter with him? He couldn’t believe he had just hurt the angel he loved more than his own existence that way when she had done nothing to deserve it. He just hadn’t wanted to tell her what had happened, because it would have hurt her feelings the same way it had his and he’d wanted to spare her that.
“Oh baby, I’m so sorry,” He murmured, wondering if he should immediately go after her or if he should give it a few minutes to make sure he was completely centered once more. He walked into the kitchen so he could look out the window at the beach, but when he did, his heart sank.
Monica, his non-culinary little angel girl, had been fixing dinner for him.
The guilt came so hard and so fast it nearly stole his breath and a moment later, he had slammed out the back door on his way to the beach to find her.
“Monica!” He called out as he made his way closer to the ocean. The sun was beginning to set and he knew she couldn’t have gone far, “Angel!”
He saw her then, standing on top of a formation of rocks that overlooked the sea, arms wrapped around herself and her dress blowing in the ocean breeze, the water only inches below her. He was actually surprised that she had gone so close to the sea she feared as the rocks stretched out several feet from the beach. But he supposed she had been hurt and maybe not really thinking about her fear and he felt the ripple of guilt once more.
“Monica!”
Relieved, he saw her turn to face him and even from a distance, he could tell she was crying, but he could also see the sudden hope in her posture as her auburn hair whipped around her face.
Never in his existence would he ever forget the next few moments no matter how much he would have wanted to. She must have sensed his remorse from where she stood and she started to move quickly back towards the beach, but the rocks, slippery after the recent rain, caused her to lose her footing. Andrew watched in horror as his beloved angel slipped, hit her head against the rocks and then vanished into the ocean below her.
For a moment he felt as if he couldn’t breathe, yet alone move, but then he was running as fast as he could, her name crying out on his lips.
“Monica! Monica!”
The water was freezing as he raced into it, making his way to where he had last seen her, his eyes searching for her wildly. Diving beneath the surface, his hands searched for her until his human lungs threatened to burst as he broke the surface, gasping for air for no more than a heartbeat before plunging below the surf once more.
Every minute seemed like an hour to him as he searched, calling out her name again and again in between dives. How long had it been? A minute, maybe two? He couldn’t even feel the cold. All that mattered was finding her.
Drawing in a breath, he dove below the waves again, searching frantically, wishing he could see through the murky water. He was wasting too much time and he couldn’t find her and his mind couldn’t stop pleading, “Father, no, please. Not like this. Please. Help me to find her.”
He broke the surface with an audible gasp as the welcomed air poured into his aching lungs, “Please Father. Where she is? Please!”
Then suddenly, there she was, floating lifelessly just across from him.
“No!” His cry pierced the air, as he swam to her and grabbed her, pulling them both back towards shore. He couldn’t get there fast enough. Pulling her up onto the wet sand, he frantically wiped her wet hair away so he could see her. Her face was deathly white and her lips were tinged slightly blue. She wasn’t breathing.
Andrew sprang into action without another thought, administering the chest compressions he had done in many an assignment, counting them aloud and then covering her mouth with his and blowing his own air into her. He listened. There was no sound.
“Monica, baby, c’mon!” His trembling hands found her sternum again and he counted each one aloud even as his mind said a prayer with each compression.
“One.” Please Father..
“Two.” Bring her back to me.
“Three.” I love her so much.
“Four.” My beautiful angel, I’m so sorry.
“Five.” Don’t leave me.
He blew the precious air into her once more, feeling the rise of her chest and then she was gasping and coughing, water pouring out of her lungs.
“Thank God! Father, thank you!” His tears came unashamed as he gathered her into his arms and stood up. He needed to get her dry and warm as she was shivering so badly. He had seen the confusion in her sweet brown eyes, as if she were unsure of what exactly had happened and she was still coughing, still trying to catch her breath.
He half ran, half walked back to the house with his precious cargo cradled against his chest. Her entire body was trembling from cold and fear, teeth chattering and an occasional sob would escape her. ..and it was all his fault. But he couldn’t dwell there now as it wouldn’t serve her in any way.
“I’ve got you, baby, I’ve got you. It’s going to be okay, Angel.” Andrew’s legs felt like rubber as they were shaking so badly, but not from the cold, from pure fear. He pushed open the door and carried her through the house to the bedroom. Sitting her on the edge of the bed, he immediately grabbed the comforter from the bed and engulfed her into it, “I’ll be right back, baby,” His trembling hands stroked her face, “Right back.”
He bolted into the bathroom to grab towels and took half a second to strip out of his own wet clothing and to pull on dry sweatpants and a t-shirt. Now if only he could stop shaking, but he couldn’t forget the image of her lying there on the beach, not breathing. He felt as if his heart was still lying on that beach.
“Okay, okay,” He returned to the bedroom, trying to talk them both through the drama that had just played out, “I need to get you out of these clothes, baby, so I can get you warm, okay?”
Monica was shivering too badly to respond and her face was still so pale it terrified him. He worked quickly and methodically, peeling away the wet layers and helping her into the warmest nightgown she had here. Once that was accomplished, he wrapped the quilt back around her and then used a white towel to gently dry her hair, but all the color drained from his own face when he saw the deep red blood on the stark white towel.
Her head. She had hit her head when she fell and only the cold had kept it from bleeding. But now that she was warming up…
“Baby, wait, you’re bleeding…” He brushed back her hair to find the deep cut just into her hairline and a tiny whimper escaped her as she seemed to feel the pain for the first time, “It’s okay. It’s okay. Give me just a minute and I’ll fix you right up, Angel.”
He made it to the bathroom in two steps and flung open the medicine cabinet, grabbing everything that looked even remotely close to first aide material. How could he have been so insensitive? How could an assignment have caused him to hurt her which had resulted in the horrible nightmare of the last fifteen minutes?
Andrew coaxed her into lying back on the bed as he poured a cleansing agent onto a gauze pad, steeling himself against her flinches. The gauze was soon soaked in blood and he grabbed another one, not wanting to alarm her. She was still shivering and he wondered if it was from shock as well as from the cold.
Five minutes later, he had the bleeding under control and the cut bandaged. It was only then that he sat down on the edge of the bed and drew her into his arms. He pillowed her beneath his chin, his hand resting against the side of her head. Her dreadful trembling was starting to improve at long last, but Andrew couldn’t bring himself to loosen his hold on her, “I am so sorry,” He whispered brokenly into her hair, “Baby, I am just so sorry.”
He felt her nod her head against his chest, “W..what happened? I…I fell..”
“Yes, Angel, you fell into the water and it…it took me awhile to find you, baby,” His voice trembled despite the control he tried to put into it, “I’ve never been so afraid, Monica. I couldn’t find you and when I did…you weren’t breathing.”
She tilted her head up just enough to see his face, “But I’m okay now.”
Her words only caused his guilt to well up inside of him once more and he closed his eyes against it, “And I thank God for that. I don’t know what I’d ever do without you, baby. I just…I am so sorry about the way I spoke to you. I never wanted to hurt you and those words almost cost me you.”
Though she still felt so cold and her head pounded mercilessly, she managed to speak, “Andrew…you don’t have to tell me…I was just so worried. I could tell you were upset.”
His still trembling hand stroked her hair as he kissed the top of her head again and again, trying to calm himself, “No. I should have told you right away. I was just angry with what had happened, but it had nothing to do with you, my precious angel. Nothing at all. But I took it out on you and that was wrong and Monica, I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.”
“You know I already do,” She replied softly, “I love you, Andrew and there is nothing you could ever do that I couldn’t forgive.”
“I’m not sure I deserve it this time,” The self loathing in his voice was evident.
“Please don’t say that. You were upset.”
“And I hurt you and in turn almost lost you.”
“You know the Father had me the whole time.”
“Angel, please, just let me say how sorry I am,” He pleaded miserably, “To hurt you…it’s something I never want to do.”
“I know.” Monica replied simply, “Adam told me.”
Andrew closed his eyes again and tightened his hold on her. Of course, an Angel of Death had been there for her. Her human form had been dead for a few precious minutes until he had been able to revive her. A shudder ran through Monica’s body and only that brought him out of his self-deprecating thoughts, “Angel? Are you still that cold?”
She had been managing to keep the shivers at bay to not worry him but now they returned with his words, “Yes. I’m so cold, Andrew.”
Untangling himself from her embrace, Andrew pulled back the bedding, “All right. In you go,” He waited until she had gotten under the covers before he pulled them snugly up around her. He then grabbed another heavy blanket from the chair and covered her with that as well. His worried green eyes gazed down at her as his hand moved to cup her cheek, “Is that better?”
“Mmm hmm,” Monica gave a little nod, despite the fact that she felt as if she would never be warm again.
“How about I go fix you something hot to drink? Would that help?” Another little nod and he bent over to kiss her forehead, being mindful of her bandage, “I’ll be right back.”
In the kitchen, as he waited for the kettle to boil, he gazed out the window to the beach and felt a shudder go through him. Shaking his head, not wanting to dwell there anymore tonight, he busied himself tidying up the start of her dinner and once the kettle boiled, Andrew fixed her a mug of decaffeinated tea. He knew she would prefer coffee, but it had been an exhausting evening and the tea should not only warm her up, but soothe her.
But as he walked back into their bedroom, he stopped, his expression turning to one of the utmost tenderness. His little angel girl was fast asleep, only the tiniest bit of her face able to be seen beneath the thick blankets.
Setting the tea on the nightstand, Andrew knelt down next to the bed and just gazed at her, his heart nearly bursting with the tremendous love he felt for her. Reaching over, he laid his hand on her head gently, just needing to touch her.
“My little angel, I don’t think you have any idea just how deeply I love you,” He whispered, before he closed his eyes briefly, “And Father, thank you, for not taking her away from me.”
He watched her sleep for another few minutes, before standing up and walking to the other side of the bed to get in next to her. Moving close to her, Andrew wrapped an arm around her waist and tugged her gently up against his chest.
If she wanted to sleep then he wouldn’t be anywhere else but right here beside of her.
